|
|
Mood Disorder Community
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
broken_spirit
Super Member (250+ posts)
548 Posts
Gratitude: 109
|
 Posted - 04/15/2006 : 17:07:42
|
Hi everyone,
Im new to this site but not to the darkness and despair of depression. Once again it has ahold of me and Im not sure if im able to fight it anymore....Thats all for now... |
|
| LLOliverR
Super Member (250+ posts)
977 Posts
Gratitude: 6
|
Posted - 04/16/2006 : 10:54:25
|
Hi broken,
Welcome to the forum! I'm glad you've decided to join our group. I'm sorry that you're suffering from depression once again, but you sound like a fighter to me or you wouldn't have taken the step to join our group. We'll help you any way we can to "slay this beast". There's a member in the bipolar forum who has posted some beautiful pictures that show a knight battling different beasts/dragons with a caption under each that tells how he feels about his fight with bipolar (which is what I suffer from). His forum name is rumpled. You might want to check them out. His pictures seem to capture what your posting seems to be conveying. But, he's "soldiering on" like the rest of us.
What, if any meds are you taking and are you seeing a doctor right now? Let us know a little bit about yourself when you're able and maybe we can help you more. In the meantime, maybe if you just read some of the postings you will see that you are really not alone and that it does get better. JUST DON'T GIVE UP! We are here for you.
Take care,
LL |
|
| broken_spirit
Super Member (250+ posts)
548 Posts
Gratitude: 109
|
Posted - 04/16/2006 : 16:03:58
|
Hi LL,
Thanks for welcoming me to this site. Ive been suffering with depression for many yrs , had my first bout when I was 16 (im 34 now) but I guess it went into hiding till about 3 yrs ago when it came roaring into my life. Ive been hospitalized many times for weeks at a time and get home and think ok this time it will be different and I can get through this. But low and behold it smacks me right in the heart again and I fall deeper and deeper into the hole of despair and it comsumes me.Ive tried to be strong and so far have been able to hang on, although that doesnt mean I havent wanted to "check out" - many times I have and have come close but here I am. However after yrs of fighting, Im just at the end, I dont think I have it in me to fight anymore!
I have been on so many *****tails of meds its crazy... right now im currently on welbutrin, effexor, clonazapam, lorazapam and a sleeping pill. This last concoction ive been on since dec... Im seeing my doc fri and I guess hes changing some of my meds. See its just a rollorcoaster ride and Ijust want off!!!!!! |
|
| Amie (inactive)
Super Member (250+ posts)
746 Posts
Gratitude: 5
|
Posted - 04/17/2006 : 22:52:10
|
Hi Broken,
Welcome to the forum. What struck me immediately is that I am on the same meds you are, except that I am also on zyprexa and desipramine. I know what you mean about the *****tail. I have difficulty sometimes because of the side effects the meds cause. However, I am glad that this current combination is working for me, not making me joyous, but working. When I tried to go off of a couple of them, I was thrown as you say, into the depths of despair.
You sound tired of being sick and I can't say I blame you. I only have had once visit to the hospital and now my doctor says she will never send me again because I liked it too much. If that doesn't make sense to you let me know and I will explain.
I hope that you will find as much comfort in this forum as I have. It is a great bunch of people that post here. It will be nice getting to know you.
Amie |
|
| Ferengi (inactive)
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
3264 Posts
Gratitude: 332
  |
Posted - 04/18/2006 : 09:51:47
|
Hi and welcome. I am not depressed at the moment but I certainly have been in the past and I thought it would never end. I hope your new drugs work better.
Ferengi |
|
| LLOliverR
Super Member (250+ posts)
977 Posts
Gratitude: 6
|
Posted - 04/18/2006 : 15:21:35
|
Hi broken,
Fortunately I haven't had to take all the meds that you and some of the others have. I am on a lot of drugs for other things and I am very sensitive to meds and have had some bad reactions to some. Maybe that's why my docs are a bit hesitant to put me on different meds? Probably it's also because they know how "freaked out" I get every time they suggest a different med, too. LOL! I already have anxiety disorder and I probably give them a "deer in the headlights look" whenever they suggest another med. I know my heart starts beating faster whenever they do and I immediately ask about 2,000 questions even if it's just cough syrup (which I had a reaction to once). 
Even so I have taken several different anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs. I've had problems with the anti-depressants, but that's because the docs did not know until recently that I have bipolar disorder and not just depression, I think. I do much better with the anti-anxiety meds, but valium makes me cry uncontrollably.
Do some of you find that you have to take different combos or dosages during different times of the year? My pdoc has cut back my wellbutrin to 200 mg. (from 300 mg.) this spring and said I may or may not need to go back up this fall. (I was having problems with increased insomnia and irritability--she thinks because of the increased sunlight, since I have bp 2.) I didn't know if this was a bp thing or a general "mental illness" thing. Either way, broken, I don't think you're unique in this respect. Perhaps that will give you a small measure of comfort.
LL |
|
| broken_spirit
Super Member (250+ posts)
548 Posts
Gratitude: 109
|
Posted - 04/18/2006 : 16:58:50
|
Hi,
TY for the replies and the welcomes...Im not in a good state these past cpl days as Im coming off my effexor (600mgs) and starting something new, cant think of the name of it right now. The withdrawls are horendous. I mean im already in a fragile state with non rational thoughts and desperation - add to that mix a more agitated state of uncontrollable thoughts and ideas and im just about ready to throw in the towel.
As someone else said im also on anti-anxiety meds too and im also diabetic.. it just never ends - the meds keep piling up and I want to say enough is enough!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah this is the longest time ive been out of the hospital in the last cpl yrs. I hated going to the hospital but when I was there I felt safe, maybe because I knew I couldnt do anything with being watched, or maybe it was because I only had to deal with me, and not be a wife/mother/daughter .... I dont know... All I do know is my heart is numb - and its crazy because I can feel despair, hurt, pain, sadness, worthlessness, panic, overwhelming depression but cant feel anything for my family. Now what does that say about me??.. I can barely deal with my daughter (7), the boys are old enough that I dont have to do much with them (14,15).. but my marriage has been in name only for 3 yrs.. I just feel nothing... how can i go on like this?... whats the point???????? |
|
| Amie (inactive)
Super Member (250+ posts)
746 Posts
Gratitude: 5
|
Posted - 04/18/2006 : 18:26:23
|
Hi Broken,
Boy that is a high dosage of effexor. You might want to read about the possible withdrawal effects by clicking on the administrators name then finding the topic from his profile. Many people have had a really difficult time with it. Nonetheless, there are others who do fine.
I am sorry to hear that your marriage is not going well. Husbands can be a good source of support if it is working. You do sound like you are feeling exhausted and frustrated. Try to think of your life in tiny baby steps. Get one task done after another. And try to make some of them something that is comforting to you maybe? A bath, a walk, or something like listening to music. I wish you well.
Amie |
|
| rdeemss
Full Member (100+ posts)
177 Posts
Gratitude: 9
|
Posted - 04/20/2006 : 15:59:55
|
Hi broken
I feel for you and i hope it will get easier soon for you
Please dont give up because i need you to help me i dont have children so im not sure how to help you there but please lean on me anytime |
|
| Amie (inactive)
Super Member (250+ posts)
746 Posts
Gratitude: 5
|
Posted - 04/20/2006 : 23:24:50
|
Rdeemss is that a modified photo? It is a strange looking dog isnt it?
Amie |
|
| rdeemss
Full Member (100+ posts)
177 Posts
Gratitude: 9
|
Posted - 04/21/2006 : 19:41:28
|
Amie
im not sure i found it on the web and i think it is i put it up because i like dogs and it was different |
|
| broken_spirit
Super Member (250+ posts)
548 Posts
Gratitude: 109
|
Posted - 04/22/2006 : 14:33:52
|
Well I saw my psychiartrist yesterday and told him how I was feeling and about the terrible withdrawls Ive been having from coming off the Effexor..he didnt offer much comfort, only to say it will just get worse before it gets better. He also told me he wants me to come off the Webutrin too and just be on this new one he put me on. He said its more potent than the 2 of them put together. He then warned me that the side affects from coming off the both at the same time can be very dangerous and deadly.. Just what I wanted to hear right....He said I could experience uncontrollable urges and thoughts of hurting myself or others , uncontrollable crying (which is what ive been doing lately anyway), severe mood swings, confusion etc... Imagine.. all this on top of everything else... He made me promise (because he said by rights when a patient comes off these types of meds they are to be hospitalized) but hes trusting me that if things get too much for me to handle that ill sign myself into the hospital, well thats a big responsibility especially with the uncontrollable urges and stuff, so im scared to death. Its hard enough to hold on without uncontrollable stuff thrown at you.....Well have to wait and see what happens I guess...Today my minds been going 100 miles and hour, been crying, thinking weird stuff, losing track of time, I feel like im smothering if that makes any sense, maybe I really am crazy!.... ANyway ty so much for your replies, theyve kept me going.... *hugss to you all** ... and Rdeemss, hang in there - smile....... |
|
| ashleeblonde1
Full Member (100+ posts)
184 Posts
Gratitude: 3
|
Posted - 04/22/2006 : 14:41:57
|
| what new medicine did he put you on? |
|
| rdeemss
Full Member (100+ posts)
177 Posts
Gratitude: 9
|
Posted - 04/22/2006 : 19:42:23
|
dear broken
please go to the hospital so you be save i just met you and i need you so please keep me posted on your proccress i will come on every day to check on you i know i cant do anything but i hope we will become friends i need one i have none at alle-mail me any time please keep in touch |
|
| Jordan
Starting Member
6 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2006 : 22:51:56
|
Dear Broken,
Just read your post and my thoughts are with you. I too have suffered for many years and am taking effexor and lorazepam at the moment. I am 36 now and have a wonderful 6 year old son whom I adore. Thankfully my Dad lives with me and he is a great help when I am really unwell. Good old Grandad's aye!
Anyway I just wanted to send lots of heartfelt love and offer my friendship even if we're hemisphere's apart, I'm from New Zealand.
Take care and please do go to the hospital I know how hard those thoughts are to control and worse when you're alone.   |
|
| gloryadt
Super Member (250+ posts)
521 Posts
Gratitude: 7
|
Posted - 04/23/2006 : 00:34:45
|
I sure hope you are coming off the Effexor very gradually. I was only on 75 mg and I found this site by googling 'effexor withdrawa' back in January. There is a 'severe discontinuation syndrome' and it can be horrible. I hope your doc is aware of it. There are several postings under the Administratots section and also under the Medication section. At the bottom of the page there is a menu to 'jump to' these forums. There are some suggestions to help you through it, one is Benadryl and another is to go on Prozac first and then taper off of it. There is also a petition out there, so at least you know you are not alone in this. I had some days that I could barely think at all and had severe nausea and vomiting each time I would miss a dose. My regular doctor tried to switch me from Effexor to Wellbutrin without tapering me off and he said he never saw anyone have that much trouble going off an anti-depressant, but I have found that it has happened to a lot of people. YES, GO TO THE HOSPITAL IF YOU HAVE THAT CHOICE!!!
glory |
|
|
Topic |
|
|
|
| MyTherapy Communities |
© MyTherapy |
|
|
| Total | Today | Yesterday | Topics: 27738
Posts: 272698 | New Topics: 0
New Posts: 56 | New Topics: 0
New Posts: 39 |
|  |
| | |
Im new
