I feel like my meds aren't working anymore. 150 wellbutrin and 100 zoloft. My depression and homicidal thoughts are back and its really bothering me. I have never come close to doing these thoughts but I am worried that I will some day not be able to control them and become some friggin animal you see on the news. Thats where the anxiety comes in. I am a loving dad of two wonderful boys. Decent yet stressful job but I have no reason to feel this way. I am trying to hide it from my loved ones but it is very difficult. I know where the depression stems from..I was a nerd as a kid and got picked on often...with that I have bottled up all my emotion s and alway ran away from conflict. The thoughts are not anger driven, I don't feel any pleasure or satisfaction from these thoughts..It feel more like an OCD kind of thing. Actually when I do get angry the thoughts go away. I can actually feel it in my head..feels like there is a hole inside my brain...I know wierd..
I have been dealing with this for over 9 years and while being on zoloft the depression was in complete remission for a few years.. Anyway writing these lines and these forums make me realize that I am not alone and I can get better...No NO I will get better. I will never do the things I think about...
Meds no longer working?
Posted - 09/16/2010 : 12:30:06
