I am now spending sometime lost in my own world. Not caring much about others and staring out the window. Basically sometimes, I don't feel like talking or entertaining people. How much of this can be controlled?
Is it necessary to "fake it till you make it?" or "make yourself smile first and then the smile will come naturally?"
Just checking in. How are you doing now? Hanging in there I hope.
In answer to your question about how much social isolation can be controlled, I don't really think it can. I think it is part of my personality make-up. Thinking back to my past, I have never been an outgoing person, I have always been more shy. So far, no medication has prompted any changes. Most of the time, I think it is okay to be alone, and not wrong to want to be.
I used to be extroverted...and I am tired of it. I am not shy...but I am completely to myself when I am not happy. I don't want to be a burden...so I just push myself to be social.
I feel lost in my own world too. I just feel like staring too. I guess that I just try to remind myself that this is part of the illness....I sure hope that I am not like this the rest of my life. It just isn't very fun.
And BTW I don't fake it...because it doesn't help. I just smile when I have too, and do what I need to make myself feel as good as I can.
Great topic! Wish we would see you more often Fleurette, depressed or not!
I will sit and stare as well. And I'm not on prescription medication anymore! I don't do this as much now that I am off medication.
I won't 'entertain' people, I just can't bring myself to be 'fake' or superficial. I think this becomes a habit more than anything. The more I seclude myself from people the more I like it. I fake it at work, I must, as a cashier, competing for part time hours with mostly younger, perky workers. So yah, I can play this perky game! I call it my mask, or like an actor. My stakes are high so I must always be in top performing mode.
Thanks for your advice, guys and gals. Since when i posted that it's been better, I'm no longer lost in my own world but i still don't fake being happy. But Christmas is stressful now that it's only 2 weeks away. Wish I could go somewhere else.
Your right Fleurette, Christmas is stressful! It makes me want to isolate more than usual. It is often overstimulating being amongst the tons of people crowding the stores. I have not been able to start Christmas shopping. It is bad enough when it gets all crazy at work, but to voluntarily put myself in a situation like crowds, and noise, well, I have a hard time doing so.
Wish me luck, today or tomorrow, I absolutely have to get out there.
in my own world
Posted - 07/04/2010 : 08:23:09
