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khaz
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
8301 Posts
Gratitude: 872
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 Posted - 05/16/2010 : 14:16:43
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Even spending 100 - 200 $ a week on meds depression rules my life to the point of being suicidal.
I have a husband, children and granbabi on the way.
What is this evil demon.
Khaz |
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| LocalVagrant
Starting Member
8 Posts
Gratitude: 10
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Posted - 05/17/2010 : 18:52:36
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| If I could name it, I would slay it. |
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| khaz
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
8301 Posts
Gratitude: 872
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Posted - 05/18/2010 : 14:29:18
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Thanks local Vagrant
Welcome to my therapy
Pdoc put up anti depp yesterday and I know at this dose I can function.....borderline mania but heaps better than the alternative.
Like your style.
Hope you are well
Khaz |
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| khaz
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
8301 Posts
Gratitude: 872
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Posted - 07/17/2010 : 17:10:23
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| Too Hard....today. |
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| lowlyworm
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2755 Posts
Gratitude: 204
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Posted - 07/17/2010 : 22:10:26
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Depression is horrible. I'm fortunate to have finally escaped it's clutches for the most part. Hugs to you.  |
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| khaz
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
8301 Posts
Gratitude: 872
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Posted - 07/18/2010 : 00:02:55
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Hi Lowly worm
I'm glad your keeping well.
I go along well and then a few stresses and I'm down there again.
I'm on 600mg Duloxotene.
Burn scented candles.
Shower or bath to relax
Have had hubby doing the washing this weekend...
While I sleep or cry or just generally try to not upset every one else.
People without depression simply don't understand how you can crash so quickly.
Any advice appreciated.
Hugs
Khaz |
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| jodartha
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4755 Posts
Gratitude: 1075
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Posted - 09/12/2010 : 08:17:47
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Khaz,
I know what it is like to crash quickly. Depression is a 6 out of 7 days thing for me. Suicidal thoughts, maybe twice a month. Depression has ruled my life for at least a year. I don't even know what normal is...well actually I do... it is being depressed.
JODARTHA |
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| khaz
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
8301 Posts
Gratitude: 872
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Posted - 09/12/2010 : 12:39:09
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Hi again
Catch those moments of sunshine and remember them.
Are your meds right.....?
Be kind to your self.
I had addiction problems so buying scented candles and i can fit in baths whenever...we recycle the water to the garden.
I have been there,,,,changing from one set of pjs to another.
One day hubby said I HATE seeing you in that dressing gown....so I got my daughter to buy me a new one
I have spent so much time in hospital.....but it kept me safe...you understand ...many dont.
God bless you Jordatha.
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| jodartha
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4755 Posts
Gratitude: 1075
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Posted - 09/14/2010 : 13:12:22
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Hi Khaz
Ya know maybe I don't know if I need other medications. Currently, I am so tired, that I hesitate to do anything more. I don't want anything to cloud my head or make me sleep anymore. It is so painful I don't know where to turn.
This is a bad week. I hope that yours is good. You deserve one and I know that as long as you can get through this...I can.
Thank you for your kind words.
JODARTHA |
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| Rainbowfish
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
5628 Posts
Gratitude: 637
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Posted - 09/16/2010 : 16:58:43
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Thank God for all the supportive people here! You guys really know and understand! Not having energy or want to do normal things like laundry-it's so debilitating. I need to do my laundry NOW I work the next 4 days and don't have any clean work clothes. Did 1 load of dishes which is quite an improvemnet, just a few months ago I stopped washing my dishes alltogether and was eating off paper plates and plastic silverware and cups.
I guess what I'm getting at is we must praise ourselves for these small accomplishments that are normal for most other people. Get ourselves out of bed even if we have to sit in a chair like a zombie for several hours in that dressing gown, sipping that first, second, third cup of coffee or tea. Tape some favorite tv shows. If I'm sitting there I at least have the energy to pick up the remote and watch some of them and the luxery of skipping the commercials. Most commercials depress me, I hate them.
I am doing my coupons right now; clipping, sorting, printing them. On an almost non-existant budget it helps me to try and plan buying my essentials.
Sadly I don't have many moments of sunshine anymore. I saw a pretty leaf yesterday on the ground, that was nice.
RAINBOWFISH |
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| jodartha
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4755 Posts
Gratitude: 1075
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Posted - 10/03/2010 : 07:44:29
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quote:
Originally posted by Rainbowfish
Thank God for all the supportive people here! You guys really know and understand! Not having energy or want to do normal things like laundry-it's so debilitating. I need to do my laundry NOW I work the next 4 days and don't have any clean work clothes. Did 1 load of dishes which is quite an improvemnet, just a few months ago I stopped washing my dishes alltogether and was eating off paper plates and plastic silverware and cups.
I guess what I'm getting at is we must praise ourselves for these small accomplishments that are normal for most other people. Get ourselves out of bed even if we have to sit in a chair like a zombie for several hours in that dressing gown, sipping that first, second, third cup of coffee or tea. Tape some favorite tv shows. If I'm sitting there I at least have the energy to pick up the remote and watch some of them and the luxery of skipping the commercials. Most commercials depress me, I hate them.
I am doing my coupons right now; clipping, sorting, printing them. On an almost non-existant budget it helps me to try and plan buying my essentials.
Sadly I don't have many moments of sunshine anymore. I saw a pretty leaf yesterday on the ground, that was nice.
RAINBOWFISH
Rainbowfish,
I just saw this post. Wow. I didn't know there were people like me til I came here. I thought I was the only girl in the world that could wear pajamas for 1 and 1/2 days straight and actually think that getting up and walking to the kitchen for a drink is torture.
I have laid in bed before too tired to get up and get some water. Thank goodness I have people like you and Khaz who understand.
You do not really know how alone I have been. I have always believed that there was absolutely no one that would live like I have...and now I am so comforted.
Thank you.
“A man can never hope to be more than he is if he is not first honest about what he isn’t.” |
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| khaz
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
8301 Posts
Gratitude: 872
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Posted - 10/16/2010 : 15:14:24
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Depression
Makes everything a challenge.
Just get over it.
So you cry some more.
But at least we are talking even if it is 3am.....no anger...no hurt...just no understanding.
Honey I'm going fishing...take the kids and do something nice.
We are busy.
I am working.
I don't want to go out.
You don't mind do you Mum.
Of course not.
Why are u crying?
I cry because I have depression...you know that.
We havent upset you have we Mum?
Of course not your all growing up with your own lives and I am so proud of you....
So I leave now to cry in private. |
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| Rainbowfish
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
5628 Posts
Gratitude: 637
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Posted - 10/16/2010 : 22:19:58
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Khaz~
Depression is a monster.
Fight the monster.
You are strong.
You are kind.
You are a good mom.
I care about you and I understand.
RAINBOWFISH |
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| khaz
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
8301 Posts
Gratitude: 872
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Posted - 10/17/2010 : 12:31:26
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Hi Rainbow
I know you care...
I fought the monster and went to the city alone and spent and spent...it still feels empty but the xmas cupboard is no longer empty.
Just the though of piano lessons and pilates seem to hard to fathom.
Hubby says its up to me.
K says dont tell pdoc you took too many pills.
Will fight and fight...but so tired sweetheart.
Must do it for the kids.
God it must be hard without money to at least distract you.
To top it all off have to take cat to vet...hair just falling out.
Love
Khaz |
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| lowlyworm
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2755 Posts
Gratitude: 204
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Posted - 10/17/2010 : 20:44:24
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| Hi Kahz, I've been thinking about you. Many hugs Lowly |
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| Diesel
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
5266 Posts
Gratitude: 115
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Posted - 11/12/2011 : 09:25:44
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My boys are always asking me "Mom why are you crying? That's all you ever do!" I'm such a mess sometimes that I can't even think straight enuff to give them an answer! I ask myself why the hell was I born with this way and not with the sunny disposition some people seem to have. I hibernate with my demons in my head on a daily basis. Sure I can put on a brave face but it is so not me! I'm on the downslide today so I know I need to get busy. That for me is therapy in itself! It's a nice sunny day out so I will take the dog for a walk. Let the endorphins kick in for a bit!
I just want to be happy and healthy. Nothing more, nothing less! |
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Depression rules my life
