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JodyWoo
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
5784 Posts
Gratitude: 665
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 Posted - 10/16/2007 : 11:43:06
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I feel suicidal when I get realllly anxious and everything starts getting out of control and I feel like I can't take it any more.
I also feel suicidal when I get really angry. I don't know why, but when I'm angry, I feel like I should just do it. There's no other better way to get my anger out and retaliate than to do it myself at that moment. It's a terrible thing...
When do you feel suicidal?
Jody
In the moonlight
Your face it glows
Like a thousand diamonds
I suppose
And your hair flows like
The ocean breeze
Not a million fights
Could make me hate you
You’re invincible
Yeah, It’s true
It’s in your eyes
Where I find peace
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| aquamarine
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1238 Posts
Gratitude: 300
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Posted - 10/16/2007 : 16:16:28
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I feel suicidal (have suicidal ideation):
- most days, a few times a day
- When I become overwhelmed
- when I am anxious. I (unconsciously)use suicidal ideation as a means to lower my anxiety. It is like "cutting" for me...a pressure valve release mechanism.
- when I feel hopeless, like this depression is never going to end and I will never find medicine to help me and I will never be able to work again.
- when I feel rejected, or abandoned by someone who, or a group of people, whose opinions and support matter to me
- when I am having really severe depressive symptoms & anxiety symptoms and I am drinking alcohol...I think this is the scariest time for me because I have the need to calm my anxiety, see no hope and forget that my family loves me. I am at the most risk with this combination
...aqua
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| Niney
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2393 Posts
Gratitude: 592
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Posted - 10/18/2007 : 23:36:04
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I feel suicidal when my depression becomes very severe and I feel like I just can't climb out of the pitt again. Or I feel like I'm never going to get better and I can't live that way anymore. Sometimes I feel like it would be doing my family a favour. I realise when I think more rationally that that is a lie.
I guess the bottom line is hopelessness and helplessness.
Niney
“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
-- Angela Monet
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| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 822
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Posted - 10/19/2007 : 15:11:47
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quote:
Originally posted by JodyWoo
I feel suicidal when I get realllly anxious and everything starts getting out of control and I feel like I can't take it any more.
I also feel suicidal when I get really angry. I don't know why, but when I'm angry, I feel like I should just do it. There's no other better way to get my anger out and retaliate than to do it myself at that moment. It's a terrible thing...
When do you feel suicidal?
Jody
In the moonlight
Your face it glows
Like a thousand diamonds
I suppose
And your hair flows like
The ocean breeze
Not a million fights
Could make me hate you
You’re invincible
Yeah, It’s true
It’s in your eyes
Where I find peace
Hi Jody,
I feel suicidal for much the same reason that you do. (emotional overload) Typing out my feelings and thoughts here helps relieve it somewhat. What helps you? (anyone)
-EA
unemployed
thirty-two-year-old Korean-American
married woman
diagnosed bipolar 1993
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| spirit
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1055 Posts
Gratitude: 245
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Posted - 10/19/2007 : 19:08:32
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when I think of my x,
when I realize my future is bleak because I've mismanaged my past,
when I am incompetent to meet life's challenges,
and because I'm all alone in the way I think and feel among my few friends,
and I'm sure there are many more reasons because every day it crosses my mind but I can't think of any more right now.
and what helps?
putting it off till later, which is easy for a procrastinator like me.
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| Lau
Starting Member
3 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 10/29/2007 : 17:18:53
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I know exactly how you feel...    
"Procrastinators unite tomorrow!" |
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| JodyWoo
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
5784 Posts
Gratitude: 665
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Posted - 10/31/2007 : 07:28:07
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I hope things get easier for all of you, I know things have gotten a lot better for me lately.
Jody
In the moonlight
Your face it glows
Like a thousand diamonds
I suppose
And your hair flows like
The ocean breeze
Not a million fights
Could make me hate you
You’re invincible
Yeah, It’s true
It’s in your eyes
Where I find peace
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| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 822
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Posted - 11/06/2007 : 10:01:45
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I also feel suicidal when I feel completely ashamed of who I am, of myself as a being, when I can't think of something that would prove I'm not defective and wrecked...and when I feel like I am the single person on planet earth that has such immense Shame. It's when I feel I am 100 percent nasty and horrible and disgusting.
EAAge: 32
Sex: female
Race: Asian
Country: USA
homemaker, married
Diagnosed Bipolar 1993 |
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| JodyWoo
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
5784 Posts
Gratitude: 665
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Posted - 11/06/2007 : 13:33:37
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I feel suicidal when I wonder if there is any point in going on.
I wonder that when I feel like giving up.
I feel like giving up when things become too much for me to handle.
Jody
In the moonlight
Your face it glows
Like a thousand diamonds
I suppose
And your hair flows like
The ocean breeze
Not a million fights
Could make me hate you
You’re invincible
Yeah, It’s true
It’s in your eyes
Where I find peace
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| Ratava
Super Member (250+ posts)
286 Posts
Gratitude: 98
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Posted - 12/07/2007 : 16:11:41
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I feel suicidal
I feel suicidal when I feel worthless.
I feel worthless when you dont see and hear me.
You dont see and hear me because I hide from you.
I hide from you because I am afraid
I am afraid that I am not good enough
I am not good enough because Im a failure
I am failure because I made a mistake
I made a mistake so I dont deserve to live
I dont deserve to live so I am suicidal.
Its not what is perfect but what is flawed that makes someone unique and beautiful |
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| ringu217
Full Member (100+ posts)
123 Posts
Gratitude: 69
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Posted - 08/18/2008 : 16:32:34
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i feel suicidal when:
im angry.
im depressed.
im wrong about something.
i get frustrated with my work and ppl.
i want something that i cant have (not material-wise, emotion-wise).
i obsess over something and cant get it out of my head.
i think about death too much.
my friends get angry or upset, not even at me, just in general.
i cant make ammends with someone.
i cant fix someones attitude.
someone else i know and love is suicidal.
i have so much work and so little time.
i feel cornered.
i cant meet someones standards.
i get a bad grade.
if i consider how easy it would be for my friends and family if i just werent around anymore.
i feel responsible for something bad that happens.
i cant make someone love me.
i feel invisible.
i feel like ill explode if i dont talk to someone about how i feel.
i think and feel like someone is lying to me about how they really feel.
i dont have enough space.
i dont get the attention i think i deserve.
someone thinks their problems are bigger and better than mine.
i cant prove myself or dont have enough evidence to support my cause.
others cant prove that they love me or dont show affection the way that I want them to.
probably many more. ill add if i figure em out.
"the greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches but prove to him his own" - benjamin disraeli |
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| davidt
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
82944 Posts
Gratitude: 2519
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Posted - 08/18/2008 : 17:00:27
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Hi Jody,
I haven't felt suicidal for many a year fortunately. It usually presented itself when I experienced intimate relationship difficulties . And in particular, triggered by the thought of losing a loved one period.
Fear of abandonment has always been an overwhelming feature in my life thus far, and I suspect that always will the case!
What an super insightful caring sharing topic you have introduced to us.
Your in gratitude 'G/Pa' Dave
Even old folk the likes of me, need to know they are in someway loved. I believe it to be a fundamental basic need to and for survival. No matter how old or young one is
If you work these communities ... there's a good chance these communities will work for you! |
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| JodyWoo
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
5784 Posts
Gratitude: 665
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Posted - 08/26/2008 : 11:34:37
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I'm very happy to say that I no longer deal with suicidal ideation at all. It has been several months without an urge.
Jody
Waves of silver, waves of gold
Are coming now to take me,
To separate my body from my soul
And Jesus leaves or takes me.
Hopes of heaven, fears of hell
And what's the chance I'll make it.
When all my other plans have failed,
And I've tried so hard to fake it.
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| Noisette
Super Member (250+ posts)
567 Posts
Gratitude: 100
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Posted - 11/14/2008 : 03:06:07
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[quote]Originally posted by aquamarine
I feel suicidal (have suicidal ideation):
- most days, a few times a day
- When I become overwhelmed
- when I am anxious. I (unconsciously)use suicidal ideation as a means to lower my anxiety. It is like "cutting" for me...a pressure valve release mechanism.
- when I feel hopeless, like this depression is never going to end and I will never find medicine to help me and I will never be able to work again.
- when I feel rejected, or abandoned by someone who, or a group of people, whose opinions and support matter to me
- when I am having really severe depressive symptoms & anxiety symptoms and I am drinking alcohol...I think this is the scariest time for me because I have the need to calm my anxiety, see no hope and forget that my family loves me. I am at the most risk with this combination
...aqua
Hi Aqua,
I'm sorry that you feel like this, I really am. Because you've summed up my suicidal ideation better than I could. Especially the mixing meds and alcohol. I become disconnected and start playing Russian Roulette with my meds and drink. Not caring whether I wake up in the morning or not.
Please take care of yourself.
Kind regards,
Sarah
And I'll feel my world crumbling
I'll feel my life crumbling
I'll feel my soul crumbling away
And falling away
Falling away with you. "Falling away with you" by Muse.
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| Fruitcup (inactive)
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2298 Posts
Gratitude: 604
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Posted - 11/14/2008 : 19:10:24
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When I realise the mistakes I have made
When I see only the negative and not the positive
When I think my family would be better off |
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| lynn2150
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
21329 Posts
Gratitude: 2146
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Posted - 11/14/2008 : 22:36:37
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There you are Jody !
I skipped through the posts,
I feel suicidal when, I can't see, or feel anything to live for.
When I am very tired, and life feels like a struggle.
So far, my religious beliefs have kept me from going over the edge.
I think, what if it's worse, on the other side?
I have gone for help when I feel very suicidal.
It's a scarey topic.
It's good to talk about it.
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I feel suicidal when...
