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Need to release the anger

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Rainbowfish
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

5628 Posts
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Posted - 05/21/2009 : 22:45:59

My theapist can see that I have been turning my anger inside----on myslef----for many years now. It causes me to be under extreme stress all the time and makes my body ill. She suggested I could try a shooting range or certain forms of martial arts where you yell alot, I need to get that anger out. Anyone else try anything like this? I was always bullied in school and teased and never learned any coping skills for assertiveness and I feel guilty about taking care of myself......like it's bad and I'm wicked.

RAINBOWFISH

ChameleonFaerie
Starting Member

12 Posts
Gratitude: 5

Posted - 05/22/2009 : 19:37:22

Going to the gym helps me get rid of my anger without hurting myself sometimes, and the feel good chemicals released after vigorous exercise help too. Channelling your anger into something positive is good. I find it really hard to motivate myself to do anything when I'm feeling bad but it does help and I always feel better after I've done it.
I went to a shooting range when I was 14-16 and I loved that.
I think it's a good idea to try something like that, maybe self defence classes.
You aren't wicked and you deserve to take care of yourself.

"Life is a ship-wreck, but we must not forget to sing in the life boats!"- Voltaire

giggly
Starting Member

32 Posts
Gratitude: 22

Posted - 06/24/2009 : 10:24:28

Hi rainbowfish!!!
I found you again. I was happy to see your post. It is funny, you were the reason why I became a member in here. As I began to know you, I found my self just the opposite of you. Instead of building my anger inside myself, I react to what makes me angry by letting others know by saying mean that they have hurted me. Sometimes if some one usually my parents puts me down like that they wished that I wasn't even born, I explode back with rage and become distrutive. This is not good, but I let out my anger, and for a couple of hours, I would be shaken all over and so my coping with this is just stare out into nothingness to let myself calm down to back to my rational self. I am sorry to hear that you were not treated right in school. If I was your friend, I would be there to help scare them by that they better not mess with us because I know martial arts and that I would make them paralized if they mess with you. lol. I was always confident in myself and loved being a leader at sometings when I was in high school. I really enjoyed the high school days becaue I was preparing myself to get into a good college. Anyways that didn't happen. Hang in there Rainbow fish, if you are determind to work things out with your anger issues, it will be worth it!!!!!!!!

michael64
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)

1551 Posts
Gratitude: 346
Very caring

Posted - 09/17/2009 : 23:26:53

http://www.relaxationmeditations.com/Repressed_Anger.html

I've been convicted, and those of you who haven't, are still on trial

neal3178
Starting Member

17 Posts
Gratitude: 4

Posted - 05/20/2010 : 02:35:36

Train yourself to keep a lid on angry feelings until you have cooled down. Then confront the situation or person calmly.

loggedin
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

3838 Posts
Gratitude: 324

Posted - 06/12/2010 : 17:23:55

quote:
Originally posted by Rainbowfish

My theapist can see that I have been turning my anger inside----on myslef----for many years now. It causes me to be under extreme stress all the time and makes my body ill. She suggested I could try a shooting range or certain forms of martial arts where you yell alot, I need to get that anger out. Anyone else try anything like this? I was always bullied in school and teased and never learned any coping skills for assertiveness and I feel guilty about taking care of myself......like it's bad and I'm wicked.

RAINBOWFISH

Martial arts is good as one form of exercise. It can also give you some confidence in terms of taking care of yourself, and that you could take care of yourself - not like some extreme scenario - but at least that one wouldn't have to fall down like a bowling pin for the lack of any skills at all. It's a much better feeling. When I started taking martial arts,I found that I wasn't tempted to get into fights anymore. Go figure.

As for screaming, I wouldn't consider it a form of therapy. If your pot boils over once in a while, OK.

Guilt has the function of making someone stop an immoral behavior. But if you haven't done anything wrong, you shouldn't feel guilty. But if you do feel guilty (even though you shouldn't) guilt will still function the same way - you will become inactive. Then you feel guilty for being inactive, and round and round you go....

Withdrawing from bullies IS actually a social skill, even though it is not an assertive social skill. In fact, withdrawing from pain is the most fundamental survival skill: hunger pain -> eat. fatigue -> rest. flame -> pull back hand. tiger -> run like hell!
Not only should one not feel guilty about it.

If anything, you should get a medal for holding in your anger. The immoral (opposite) act would be to take a gun to school and shoot everyone. THAT should cause guilt.

Of course, the middle (healthy) ground is assertiveness, which is what you are looking into.

I'd wish you good luck, but the truth is that each time you work on it, your skill improves a little bit.

oh...monkey-poo.

Rainbowfish
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

5628 Posts
Gratitude: 637
Very caring Very honest

Posted - 06/13/2010 : 00:09:49

Thank you Logged In for your kind and wise suggestions. It's great to see you again! The self defense class I took a few months ago was very helpful. It was taught my police women and they had some excellent advice. I would encourage all women to take a self defense class.

RAINBOWFISH

Diavna
Starting Member

2 Posts
Gratitude: 1

Posted - 07/25/2010 : 20:32:11

quote:
Originally posted by Rainbowfish

My theapist can see that I have been turning my anger inside----on myslef----for many years now. It causes me to be under extreme stress all the time and makes my body ill. She suggested I could try a shooting range or certain forms of martial arts where you yell alot, I need to get that anger out. Anyone else try anything like this? I was always bullied in school and teased and never learned any coping skills for assertiveness and I feel guilty about taking care of myself......like it's bad and I'm wicked.

RAINBOWFISH

I use a weighted punching bag. First thing I do is go from work, drive home, walk in the door, take off shoes, socks, bra, get into something comfortable, and beat the **** out of the punching bag. ahhhhh and very regularly I will verbally abuse the punching bag as well. This may no be the healthiest way to deal with my rage but it is healthier for everyone else if I do.

loggedin
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

3838 Posts
Gratitude: 324

Posted - 07/25/2010 : 21:49:34

quote:
Originally posted by Diavna

quote:
Originally posted by Rainbowfish

My theapist can see that I have been turning my anger inside----on myslef----for many years now. It causes me to be under extreme stress all the time and makes my body ill. She suggested I could try a shooting range or certain forms of martial arts where you yell alot, I need to get that anger out. Anyone else try anything like this? I was always bullied in school and teased and never learned any coping skills for assertiveness and I feel guilty about taking care of myself......like it's bad and I'm wicked.

RAINBOWFISH

I use a weighted punching bag. First thing I do is go from work, drive home, walk in the door, take off shoes, socks, bra, get into something comfortable, and beat the **** out of the punching bag. ahhhhh and very regularly I will verbally abuse the punching bag as well. This may no be the healthiest way to deal with my rage but it is healthier for everyone else if I do.

It sounds like a healthy method to me. Exercise is good for your body and your mental well-being. You are doing things that you shouldn't do to people. As long as the bag doesn't call the cops, I think you'll be OK.

P.S. I do it too.