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bigmuny
Starting Member
1 Posts
Gratitude: 3
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 Posted - 06/04/2008 : 18:47:24
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The woman I have asked to marry me, first time was 38 yrs ago right before I was sent to Vietnam, however when I came back I was not the same person that I was before I went over. She was young only 17 at that time and I was 21..seems like every time I turned around something was getting in between us until finally we went for years without hearing or seeing each other. I knew she still loved me and I had always loved her..she would call my mother asking about me throughout the years so I knew her heart..I was her first love and she mine..I went unmarried for the next 30 yrs and finally did more or less just to see what it was like..we should have been friends instead of getting married..still my first love was always on my mind and in my heart. She ended up getting married 3 times and is now divorced also...
I moved back to my mothers house to help care for her about 2 years ago and one night I answered the phone and it is my girl..that was 8 months ago now...I have regretted what I did to her and what she told me crushed my heart as I could finally clearly see what it was I did to her in turning my back on her..because I thought I was doing the right thing..I came back from the war with many personal problems involving death and mayhem that the normal person will never see..I was in the infantry and a door gunner on a helicopter and if anyone knows it is quite dangerous..I did not feel like I could give her what she wanted at that time so I went on a journey searching for myself..I knew if I had shown up at the moment she was getting married and told her to come with me she would have dropped everything and left him at the altar. I never knew I could love someone so profoundly and deeply as I have her all of these years. I told her that any man would be a fool not to want that kind of love from someone as that is what a man searches for his whole life...
Last night she told me she is BiPolar..I knew some things about this disease and in the last 8 months she has exhibited some confusing personality differences to me, but now that I know her disease I can see the reason more clearly. After she told me that she asked me if I still wanted her..I will never leave her alone again no matter what..I am willing to deal with anything to have this woman as my wife..she needs someone who is strong and comitted not easily swayed by manipulations. I can see a game a mile off and I think she realizes this now...I would give her my very life if need be but I won't be swayed by her wily ways and this is one of the characteristics of BP, manipulation.
I am reading and trying to understand more of this disease so that I can help and not hinder our relationship. I have never in my life felt this kind of pure unadulterated love as I have these many years with this woman and her likewise with me. It's like a storybook in the making and we are living it.
I know this is a BP forum and I appreciate any honest replies as to what I should be looking forward to. Should I marry my BP fiancee'?? Yes, I will marry her and I will be there for her...she has a stubborn side and has probably run over her last 3 husbands..but she knows me, she knows my strengths and she has a definate respect for my principles, values and morals. The only deal breaker would probably be infidelity and I know she would never venture there as neither would I, so I feel our relationship will grow. She will be stubborn about taking medication I know that and I have told her that she will take it and take it in front of me daily..I will watch her and even check her mouth to make sure she swallows her meds..I will do that, I will not be manipulated. She will respect my strength because it will come from pure love of our relationship and I will respect her. I know it won't be perfect and am prepared for the worst but I will be there for her..
This woman was like many at an early age abused both physically and sexually..and on her side of the family there were many problems in her young life..she has two beautiful daughters raising them by herself and they have become beautiful young ladies, not only physically attractive yet intelligent and seem well adjusted..all of that goes to her determination not to have what was done to her, done to them...
Do I have some fears about our future, of course..and that is why I am trying to understand this disease and would like some feedback about what I can expect in the beginning, during and later on in life. Does anyone have any experience with this in a seemingly like history?? I would appreciate hearing any feedback..This is my first post and perhaps it may be wrong of me to post this and if it is would someone let me know...
From the examples of the past the man of the present acts prudently so as to not imperil the future.....  |
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| yinyang
Super Member (250+ posts)
370 Posts
Gratitude: 27
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Posted - 05/16/2011 : 19:43:31
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I respect u saying that you will stick by her, but from what I read if your are over controlling you will loose her. She doesn't need a parent but a partner and checking her mouth for meds and being over attentive to manipulation will ruin the relationship. It sounds a bit creepy. She is still the same person she was before, and helping her moderate things is great, but trying to do it for her will be cause for resentment and anger. Be her partner her friend and companion...not her keeper.
Lisa K |
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| Freersum
Starting Member
25 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 12/10/2011 : 21:16:33
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| It can be difficult, and if you aren't patient it will be a waste of time. |
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| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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Topic |
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Should I marry my BP fiancee??
