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pandora106
Starting Member
41 Posts
Gratitude: 14
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 Posted - 04/26/2008 : 00:02:12
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I've gone to therapy for a couple of yrs after I was diagnosed with bipolar but there was one thing that I couldn't come close to dealing with. That was, in 2000 I was supposed to be married and I left 3 wks before the wedding. To make a long story short, he was mentally abusive, took advantage of me. Also I paid for the wedding myself and a month before we were to be married I co-signed a loan so that is was at a lower intrust and I always thought you were supposed to put your $ together when you get married. A few yrs later he left me with his debt, after I had been paying 1/2 of the loan. I was 40 grand in debt and had to declare bankrupsy at 24 with a previous awesome credit rating.
My close cousin got engaged 1 yr ago and I freaked out when she showed me a pic of her dress. I just couldn't handle my emotions. I new I had to come to her wedding so somehow I had to start dealing with this. Most of the healing and release suddenly came when he found me on the internet to inform me our God daughter had past away in a car accident. Basically he said sorry for some of the stuff but I was able to vent a bit.
My cousin's wedding was a few wks ago. I went and stayed almost to the end. It was so hard all day to keep my emotions in and I broke at the end. By the way I also have issues with some of my family since I was diagnost, and have dificulties in large groups, so that was added stress. I broke down and was useless for about 4 days after this.
My ex fiance has gotten in touch with me for the second time letting me know he's coming into town and wants to go for coffee. Last time I didn't have the courage to see him and actually broke down for a couple of days. This time, I think I should face this. Talking to him over the internet had a powerful effect on me so I think this will too.
I'm scared when I see him that I'll turn back into that week, timed girl that he had control over. If I do it means I haven't changed. Also this is the incident that my bipolar disorder became unmanageble without drugs.
I'm not sure how to prepare myself for this so either I chicken out in seeing him and/or break down after/before b/c of the stress. I've started writing out a list of things that I still have strong angry feelings about, towards him, and he told me to vent, yell, or If I need to slap him during coffee.
I'm so worried.  |
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| lynn2150
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
21329 Posts
Gratitude: 2146
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Posted - 04/26/2008 : 02:16:39
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Well, I say, vent yell, slap him, and dump your coffee over his head !
I should stop here, but, I get long winded, you know ?!
Just hearing how he treated you makes me seethe with anger, and I am so glad that you DID back out, GOOD FOR YOU !
As hard as it may have been, had you married this guy, omg, twenty times worse would have followed.
Dr. Long explained to me, that a predator type will latch on to a 'weaker' giving nice person. and treat them badly.
HE is SO right !
I hope you keep posting on this,
and keep in mind you don't have to see him, UGH !
I know how your heart must have been broken,
The dude is bad news I think.
If you go I hope you walk away feeling vindicated, I hope he doesn't push any sympathy buttons with you.
I hope you stand strong, and feel your worthy of much more thn he has (not) given you.
MEN, are a touchy topic with me !
Can you tell?
(smile)
I'd set my own brothers straight if they ever abused their partners.
Just isn't acceptable,
PS- on behalf of the men out there, the good men, there are women who abuse too, and that is not acceptable either !
I'll get off of my soap box now !
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| pandora106
Starting Member
41 Posts
Gratitude: 14
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Posted - 04/26/2008 : 03:14:19
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| I think that I feel the need to go is not for vindication but to prove to myself that I'm stronger, and that I think by facing him (a huge fear), it will release this anger in me that has torn me apart for years. |
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| Fruitcup (inactive)
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2298 Posts
Gratitude: 604
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Posted - 04/26/2008 : 22:21:09
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Hi
I would only meet him if he was bringing the money he owed me with him......but thats me.....just don't forget we are here for you if it all goes pear shape.
Good Luck with your adventure
I'd rather jump off a cliff
Sue |
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| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
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Topic |
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How do I prepare to face someone from my past?
