MyTherapy Discussion Forums - The Ghosts Still Remain....

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Coping With Anorexia Or Bulemia

The Ghosts Still Remain....

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Emergency_Room_Romantic
Starting Member

5 Posts

Posted - 03/27/2008 : 18:28:03

I was recently anorexic/bulemic, but never hospitalized. I kept it from my friends and my mom. But this year at school [my 9th grade year] I started telling my friends about it. They were surprzingly supportive, with the exception of the few that were disappointed in me. They are still very supportive and won't even let me go into the bathroom by myself. I have overcome my anorexia and bulemia with the help of my boyfriend. I also have alot of paranoia. And I have to fly to California in one week and five days. [Keeping a mental countdown...] And I'm convinced that something horrible will happen and I'll die...and never get to see my boyfriend or my friends again. My mom thiks that I'm faking the paranoia, just for attention. I don't want attention, I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND!!! And it seems like nobody cares or realizes that...so that's why I signed up on here, to get some help. And because the typing it all out seems to help in some weird way. I just wish that she would realize that I'm not faking it. Anyway, I got off topic. Sorry, I do that alot. Anyway, I keep thinking that I'm getting fatter. Everyday it seems like my clothes get tighter. I keep thinking that if I can be anorexic or bulemic just for a few weeks, I can drop a couple pounds and feel good about not being fat. Everybody says that I'm not fat. Espically my boyfriend. He says that he's fat too. He's really skinny though. He's really tall too. I have always been self-concious about my weight. I am currently one hundred something and I am seirously considering going back. Just for a week or two though so it dosen't get addicting. I think I can handle it...I think that it will be okay. I'm kind of worried though because I don't want to take it too far and have to tell my mom. But I think I will, just for a little bit.

Anyways. I'm new here ^_^.
And please tell me what you think I should do...^_^

Emergency_Room_Romantic

Zep
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

2298 Posts
Gratitude: 536
Very caring Very wise Very honest

Posted - 03/27/2008 : 18:50:19

Hi there. This forum is actually NOT for telling people what to do...it's more about sharing experiences and giving support.

Let me tell you all the things that I DIDN'T do when I was your age, and that may give you some clues....

*I didn't tell my parents anything at all, certainly never the truth
*I refused to see a doctor or take medication, preferring to play lots of games with people
*I failed to see that my 'friends' loved the drama of being around me, and that's all
*I refused to believe that ****ing around with what I ate was going to cause permanent damage to my body and brain.

I then spent eight years (from 14 to 22) in institutions. I am 30 years older now, but the damage was done back then.

The only thing I would tell you to do is think very carefully about what you are doing to yourself....

Take care,

Zep.

"I wish I hadn't cried so much!" said Alice, as she swam about, trying to find her way out. "I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears!" - Lewis Carroll.

warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)