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Mood Disorder Community
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Lost girl
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1360 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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 Posted - 07/09/2007 : 07:01:07
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Hi Everyone!
For a few months now, I have wanted to start my Blog: the time just wasn't right back then. Much too much unbalance & instability in my personal life.
So today I will begin...
And hope you will enjoy & participate as we follow Lost girl's travels & journeys, thoughts & memories, stories of my life. Bits of my wisdom.
I am @ the age( and Therapeutic level) where I can look back comfortably and share my experiences, the lessons I have learned...the successes & the losses.
I am ready to share with you all: my realities, struggles, challenges past & present . My hope is that my writing may make a member smile,laugh, answer a question... or bring out a "Oh Man, I've been there!".
At this time I am unsure how often I can/will write, as most of my functions are mood congruent. Following my last severe depression duration-8 months)I was left with significant cognitive impairement.
So.
It is one day at a time, which all members are also living each. I will do my best to post often.
Poetry and prose have always brought me joy , peace and often enlightenment.
Sharing my best loved poetry with you will bring me pleasure in knowing a poem may uplift someone's spirits, or comfort them today.
HOLD FAST YOUR DREAMS - Louise Driscoll
Hold fast your dreams!
Within your heart
Keep one still, secret spot
Where dreams may go,
And sheltered so,
May thrive and grow...
Where doubt and fear are not.Oh, keep a place apart
Within your heart,For little dreams to go.
Lost girl
LOST GIRL
This too shall pass.
Dear members, All posts in this blog have been moved to the owner's personal blog. Please go to this new location to read this blog and participate in discussions.  |
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| stile
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1627 Posts
Gratitude: 461
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Posted - 07/09/2007 : 18:21:17
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Hi Lost girl. Great blog! I thought I'd take the distinguished pleasure of being the first visitor. I very much enjoy our chats, it is truly a balanced conversation when I talk to you. Back and forth, give and take.
I look forward to our next conversation.
Yours,
-stile |
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| Niney
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2393 Posts
Gratitude: 592
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Posted - 07/09/2007 : 21:28:23
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Hi Lost girl,
I enjoyed your blog! I really liked the poem. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Niney
"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends."
Churton Collins |
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| Lost girl
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1360 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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Posted - 07/10/2007 : 07:32:00
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Hi stile & Niney!
Thank you for dropping into my blog.
Always nice to have neighbours visit..
Next time you visit I will put the kettle on for tea & Turkish delight.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmand tell you a tale.
Lost girl
LOST GIRL
This too shall pass. |
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| Niney
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2393 Posts
Gratitude: 592
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Posted - 07/10/2007 : 07:56:47
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Lost girl,
Sounds wonderful. I'll definitely be there.
Niney
"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends."
Churton Collins |
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| Lost girl
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1360 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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Posted - 08/03/2007 : 14:08:52
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Hi Everyone!
It has been a long time since I originally started this blog..
Over the last few weeks I have been cycling quite intensely from : hypomania> mania> stability> depression.
My Meds are stabilizing me to a certain degree, and I believe my PDoc when she doesn't want to change any of them.
Because I am at the MAX dose on most of my Psychiatric meds..we would have to withdraw & flush over a period of a month, then begin a new med & go through side effects etc again. We are in agreement: both unwilling @ this point to do that.
What I need to work on is more control..less impulse control, and more self awareness. My Lost girl journey is far from over, much to my disappointment & frustration.
So. I haven't blogged in the way I had intended. However..this too shall pass, and hopefully I will be able to share with you all the stories I had planned on telling..and the poetry I have written.
I need to be in the right mindset to give these thoughts justice without triggering myself LOL!
Thank you to those who have dropped by in the past. Next time you drop by..I hope I have something light-hearted, insightful , or funny to tell you.
Some upcoming stories:
" Neopolatin Cake"
" Birthday Party shenanagins"
" Pink Ballerina"
" Camp Swampy"
" Hospital & Jello & Skipper"
Take care all....
Lost girl is searching for her path!
Lost girl
LOST GIRL
This too shall pass. |
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| jbmorris2001
Super Member (250+ posts)
254 Posts
Gratitude: 64
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Posted - 08/04/2007 : 02:20:19
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Hello Lost_Girl
I do like your blog and I look foward to reading more. Your blog is going to be one that I will check often to see if there is anything new from you.
Well till later,
Johnathon |
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| Lost girl
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1360 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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Posted - 08/08/2007 : 15:58:52
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Hi Everyone!
Following is one of the sweetest stories I believe you may ever read.
There is ALWAYS a tomorrow...Change is always possible.
Giving & forgiving.....
THE SELFISH GIANT
OSCAR WILDE 1888
Every afternoon, as they were coming from school, the children used to go and play in the Giant's garden.
It was a large lovely garden, with soft green grass. Here and there over the grass stood beautiful flowers like stars, and there were twelve peach-trees that in the spring-time broke out into delicate blossoms of pink and pearl, and in the autumn bore rich fruit.
The birds sat on the trees and sang so sweetly that the children used to stop their games in order to listen to them. "How happy we are here!" they cried to each other.
One day the Giant came back. He had been to visit his friend the Cornish ogre, and had stayed with him for seven years. After the seven years were over he had said all that he had to say, for his conversation was limited, and he determined to return to his own castle. When he arrived he saw the children playing in the garden.
"What are you doing here?" he cried in a very gruff voice, and the children ran away.
"My own garden is my own garden," said the Giant; "any one can understand that, and I will allow nobody to play in it but myself." So he built a high wall all round it, and put up a notice-board.
TRESPASSERS
WILL BE
PROSECUTED
He was a very selfish Giant.
The poor children had now nowhere to play. They tried to play on the road, but the road was very dusty and full of hard stones, and they did not like it.
They used to wander round the high wall when their lessons were over, and talk about the beautiful garden inside. "How happy we were there," they said to each other.
Then the Spring came, and all over the country there were little blossoms and little birds. Only in the garden of the Selfish Giant it was still winter. The birds did not care to sing in it as there were no children, and the trees forgot to blossom.
Once a beautiful flower put its head out from the grass, but when it saw the notice-board it was so sorry for the children that it slipped back into the ground again, and went off to sleep.
The only people who were pleased were the Snow and the Frost. "Spring has forgotten this garden," they cried, "so we will live here all the year round." The Snow covered up the grass with her great white cloak, and the Frost painted all the trees silver.
Then they invited the North Wind to stay with them, and he came. He was wrapped in furs, and he roared all day about the garden, and blew the chimney-pots down. "This is a delightful spot," he said, "we must ask the Hail on a visit."
So the Hail came. Every day for three hours he rattled on the roof of the castle till he broke most of the slates, and then he ran round and round the garden as fast as he could go. He was dressed in grey, and his breath was like ice.
"I cannot understand why the Spring is so late in coming," said the Selfish Giant, as he sat at the window and looked out at his cold white garden; "I hope there will be a change in the weather."
But the Spring never came, nor the Summer. The Autumn gave golden fruit to every garden, but to the Giant's garden she gave none. "He is too selfish," she said. So it was always Winter there, and the North Wind, and the Hail, and the Frost, and the Snow danced about through the trees.
One morning the Giant was lying awake in bed when he heard some lovely music. It sounded so sweet to his ears that he thought it must be the King's musicians passing by. It was really only a little linnet singing outside his window, but it was so long since he had heard a bird sing in his garden that it seemed to him to be the most beautiful music in the world.
Then the Hail stopped dancing over his head, and the North Wind ceased roaring, and a delicious perfume came to him through the open casement. "I believe the Spring has come at last," said the Giant; and he jumped out of bed and looked out.
What did he see?
He saw a most wonderful sight. Through a little hole in the wall the children had crept in, and they were sitting in the branches of the trees. In every tree that he could see there was a little child. And the trees were so glad to have the children back again that they had covered themselves with blossoms, and were waving their arms gently above the children's heads.
The birds were flying about and twittering with delight, and the flowers were looking up through the green grass and laughing. It was a lovely scene, only in one corner it was still winter.
It was the farthest corner of the garden, and in it was standing a little boy. He was so small that he could not reach up to the branches of the tree, and he was wandering all round it, crying bitterly. The poor tree was still quite covered with frost and snow, and the North Wind was blowing and roaring above it. "Climb up! little boy," said the Tree, and it bent its branches down as low as it could; but the boy was too tiny.
And the Giant's heart melted as he looked out. "How selfish I have been!" he said; "now I know why the Spring would not come here. I will put that poor little boy on the top of the tree, and then I will knock down the wall, and my garden shall be the children's playground for ever and ever." He was really very sorry for what he had done.
So he crept downstairs and opened the front door quite softly, and went out into the garden. But when the children saw him they were so frightened that they all ran away, and the garden became winter again.
Only the little boy did not run, for his eyes were so full of tears that he did not see the Giant coming. And the Giant stole up behind him and took him gently in his hand, and put him up into the tree.
And the tree broke at once into blossom, and the birds came and sang on it, and the little boy stretched out his two arms and flung them round the Giant's neck, and kissed him. And the other children, when they saw that the Giant was not wicked any longer, came running back, and with them came the Spring.
"It is your garden now, little children," said the Giant, and he took a great axe and knocked down the wall. And when the people were going to market at twelve o'clock they found the Giant playing with the children in the most beautiful garden they had ever seen.
All day long they played, and in the evening they came to the Giant to bid him good-bye.
"But where is your little companion?" he said: "the boy I put into the tree." The Giant loved him the best because he had kissed him.
"We don't know," answered the children; "he has gone away."
"You must tell him to be sure and come here to-morrow," said the Giant. But the children said that they did not know where he lived, and had never seen him before; and the Giant felt very sad.
Every afternoon, when school was over, the children came and played with the Giant. But the little boy whom the Giant loved was never seen again. The Giant was very kind to all the children, yet he longed for his first little friend, and often spoke of him. "How I would like to see him!" he used to say.
Years went over, and the Giant grew very old and feeble. He could not play about any more, so he sat in a huge armchair, and watched the children at their games, and admired his garden. "I have many beautiful flowers," he said; "but the children are the most beautiful flowers of all."
One winter morning he looked out of his window as he was dressing. He did not hate the Winter now, for he knew that it was merely the Spring asleep, and that the flowers were resting.
Suddenly he rubbed his eyes in wonder, and looked and looked. It certainly was a marvellous sight. In the farthest corner of the garden was a tree quite covered with lovely white blossoms. Its branches were all golden, and silver fruit hung down from them, and underneath it stood the little boy he had loved.
Downstairs ran the Giant in great joy, and out into the garden. He hastened across the grass, and came near to the child. And when he came quite close his face grew red with anger, and he said, "Who hath dared to wound thee?"
For on the palms of the child's hands were the prints of two nails, and the prints of two nails were on the little feet.
"Who hath dared to wound thee?" cried the Giant; "tell me, that I may take my big sword and slay him."
"Nay!" answered the child; "but these are the wounds of Love."
"Who art thou?" said the Giant, and a strange awe fell on him, and he knelt before the little child.
And the child smiled on the Giant, and said to him, "You let me play once in your garden, to-day you shall come with me to my garden, which is Paradise."
And when the children ran in that afternoon, they found the Giant lying dead under the tree, all covered with white blossoms.
LOST GIRL
This too shall pass. |
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| Lost girl
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1360 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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Posted - 08/12/2007 : 17:44:53
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Hi Everyone!
We could all use inspiration at one time or another....
A PSALM OF LIFE
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.
Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.
Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.
Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.
In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!
Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,--act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;--
Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.
LOST GIRL
This too shall pass. |
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| Lost girl
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1360 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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Posted - 08/12/2007 : 21:41:49
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Hi Everyone!
Tonight I am up to posting one of my poems...
For hours after you left..
I lay in bed, wondering why
I had answered the door.
circa 1970
LOST GIRL
This too shall pass. |
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| Lost girl
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1360 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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Posted - 08/12/2007 : 21:57:48
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Hi Everyone!
2 Poems I wrote to share with you.
FAMILIAR FEELINGS
March 1970
I've had this feeling before
I don't know where or when, though
I've had a love before
I do know where, but when though...
I've closed my eyes before
and felt as if life's at it's end.
I've lived and loved before
It's not important now though.
**********************************************************
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SAY
March 1970
I'd love to sit and talk
with you
but I must be on my way
The time is slowly drifting by
it will soon be
another day.
I'd love to sit and talk
with you
of good times as before
But the clouds are turning dark again.
And I'm beckoned by the door.
I'd love to sit and talk
with you
till the sunset of the day
But when I'm near you in the morn...
There's nothing left to say.
LOST GIRL
This too shall pass. |
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| Lost girl
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1360 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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Posted - 08/13/2007 : 20:50:09
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Hi Everyone!
POSSIBLE DOWN TRIGGER!!!!!
My first poem is mood congruent...and I am down. So please do not read further if it may TRIGGER you.
It is important that I share these thoughts now, after so many years of hiding them..
The second poem is a bit lighter.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
LET IT FALL...On me
March 1970
The sky is dark
and thunder sounds
in the distance
somewhere.
And I am alone
let the rain fall
on me
and cleanse my soul.
It's raining now
I hear every drop
splashing on the roof
keeping me awake
making me think
of how many times I have hurt you
and how depressing life can be
and
how much I love you.
Oh, rain
oh rain
stop your noise
you are making me feel
so afraid
and so alone...
And for once in my life
I am ready to forgive all those
who I have not forgiven...
And I beg of you rain
to stop.
********************************************************************
TELL ME YOU LOVE ME
August 1970
Oh!
tell me of roses
and flowers so gay!
tell me of'morrow
or of today.
tell me of rivers and ships out at sea
tell me of love
tell me you love me.
Tell me 'bout Alice and Bob or Michelle
what in their hearts do lovers tell
whisper of springtime
and birds in the sky
of being so free and flying so high
tell me of lovers
of new brides-to-be
tell me of love
tell me you love me.
And so you go on
of everyone's woes
some little, some big
some Mary's, some Joe's
tell me of things I long to see
tell me of love
Please.
Tell me you love me.
**********************************************************************
LOST GIRL
This too shall pass. |
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| Lost girl
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1360 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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Posted - 08/17/2007 : 14:18:52
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Hi Everyone!
As most you may know, Brian Wilson (Beach Boys) struggled many years with depression..then diagnosed as BiPolar. He actually spent years in bed..not communicating...not venturing outside.
He has finally recieved the treatments/medications he needs, and has rejoined the living.
I am dedicating "God Only Knows" (Pet Sounds album) to ALL my friends at MT...for being here for me..in both good & bad times.
Brian wrote & sings lead in this song. It is hauntingly beautiful & says ALL I need to say to all of you! Considered one of the all time greatest songs..even by the Beatles standards! Brian has always been considered a musical genius..
*********************************************************************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC_UILNwWrc&mode=related&search=
Sincerely
Lost girl
LOST GIRL
This too shall pass. |
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| davidt
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
82944 Posts
Gratitude: 2519
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Posted - 08/17/2007 : 14:43:51
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Friendship is the greatest gift of all!
Hi Lost Girl,
Delighted to see you participating again via your personal blog.
Yours in Friendship, David
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| davidt
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
82944 Posts
Gratitude: 2519
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Posted - 08/17/2007 : 14:57:47
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PS ...
I have dipped in to your blog several times previosly and have found plenty of food for thought.
I shall return here soon, for more, but next time I shall respond in more depth!
Yours in Friendship, David
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| Lost girl
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1360 Posts
Gratitude: 401
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Posted - 08/27/2007 : 10:26:11
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Hi Everyone!
Some fine poetry from William Wordsworth....
Written in Early Spring - William Wordsworth
I heard a thousand blended notes
While in a grove I sat reclined,
In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
Bring sad thoughts to the mind.
To her fair works did Nature link
The human soul that through me ran;
And much it grieved my heart to think
What Man has made of Man.
Through primrose tufts, in that sweet bower,
The periwinkle trailed its wreaths;
And 'tis my faith that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes.
The birds around me hopped and played,
Their thoughts I cannot measure -
But the least motion which they made
It seemed a thrill of pleasure.
The budding twigs spread out their fan
To catch the breezy air;
And I must think, do all I can,
That there was pleasure there.
If this belief from heaven be sent,
If such be Nature's holy plan,
Have I not reason to lament
What Man has made of Man?
LOST GIRL
This too shall pass. Know thyself.
Always remember to STOP..and smell the roses. |
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