I'm new to this site - and I dont really know what I'm looking for - I just feel so alone and I know that there are people who deal with the things I do - I just dont know what to do anymore - I dealt with eating problems since elementary school and off and on over the years Ive been (god I hate thelabels) anorexic and bullimic - I kept the bullimia in check I thought for the most part for the past year or so and now I've graduated college and I just lost it. I throw everything up..i can't tell anyone how serious it has become because I dont want to go back to a hospital or another rehab facility. I live alone and went through a break up that I think was spurred by my being bipolar. I am scared out of my mind because every tactic I learned in therapy and renfrew and all that is not working... I'm in therapy 2x a week and when they ask about the eating I just lie. I read some other people's postings and I too am so tired and scared and dont know what to do