Took my 3rd 10 mg Lexapro this am. A few hours after taking my first pill, I felt a sensation of tunnel vision and not really dizzy but just sort of an awareness of my head. Withing 2-3 hours, I was buzzing (about a half a glass of wine past where I should converse with my boss is how I described it). It felt very much like wine.
Driving to an appt about 45 minutes away (5 hrs after 1st pill) my anti lock brakes engaged 4 different times. Find myself listening to music at very high volume (not typical for me)
Overall very much like an alcohol buzz (not drunk- just buzzed)
Stayed the same until yesterday mid afternoon. Thought I was really gonna crash hard, but just sort of shifted to a little less animated.
Woke up this am really looking forward to today's dose. Have settled into a 'mellow' state that reminds me of being stoned on pot -not that I would know what that was like from years ago or anything :)
So far- I'm really enjoying this little pill. I still have moments of sadness, but not the devastating depression that I had been having. The literature says it should take longer to work, so what I'm experiencing may just be side effects rather than the primary effect of the drug. I'm certain it is the lexapro because nothing else has changed in my life in the last 3 days (eating etc).
I know a lot of forums have posts that are complaining or talking about negative effects. Thought someone considering Lexapro should know that so far it has been a really really pleasant experience for me.
I have a slight- not really a headache- just sort of a 'frontal lobe awareness' thing going on.
Lot's of free association with music- someone said 'chances are' to me in a conversation yesterday and I started singing it
Sleeping better- but not really any longer. Still waking up at 3am or so, but feeling rested when I do.
Feel more mentally 'settled'
Have had times of sadness, but no suicidal thoughts or slipping into depression since starting Lexapro. It feels almost like there's a barrier- I can feel so bad- but then I can't go any further. It's hard to describe, and I don't trust it yet, but it's not a bad feeling in any way.
Catch myself walking with a spring in my step- almost dance-like sometimes without realizing it.
Had probably my 'nearest normal' day in months today. Still animated at times, but having increasing periods where I feel pretty normal. Feels like my emotions are in a cage- or there's a safety rail around them. I can get angry, but only so angry it seems I can get sad, but only so sad it seems I lean on the guard rail when I feel sad, but I don't really trust it to hold me yet. Still cry, but don't seem to drop into depression This afternoon, I've experienced feelings that I now remember as how I used to feel. Afternoons, the animation tends to drop for a few hours (it resumes again toward evening). I don't know if the 'normal' window will expand over time or if there will always be the 'animated' phase to this med- we'll see.
Still a little animated in the am (take pill in morning) Usually feel the effects about 90 minutes or so after taking the pill
By mid afternoon- maybe because I'm digesting lunch?- I start settling into what seems to be very near how I remember being pre-depression.
This lasts at least until 6:00 pm or so and sometimes the rest of the evening.
Hoping that as my body continues to acclimate the 'normal' feeling window will expand and the 'animated' window will decrease. But this is SOOOO much better than any 9 days prior to the drug during the depression.
Have the 'frontal lobe awareness' thing still. It's funny in a way- if I start getting agitated or sad I feel it more- it's almost like I can feel the drug fighting the depression- I know that sounds weird, but it's true.
Almost forgot to take the pill this morning. I guess that's an indicator that I wasn't feeling so bad that I was just waiting for the time to take it.
Had a scary episode earlier this week. Was in a mood that would have (pre lexapro) dropped me into the suicidal abyss. Still was a very sad time, but bearable. Learning I can trust the meds to keep me from dropping off the edge- but still don't really trust them yet.
Since snapping out of that a couple of days ago, have actually enjoyed a period of real peace.
Still got a little dance in my step- still doing a lot of free association (think I'm ready for improv). Seem to be 'settling in' more. Longer periods of feeling 'normal'.
Actually forgot to take the pill this am- had to turn around and go back home to take it. Guess that's an indicator it's working.
Very grateful for this little pill and the positive effects it has had on my demeanor.
Day 3
Posted - 03/02/2007 : 07:57:21
