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 Topic  |
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Jana
Full Member (100+ posts)
177 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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 Posted - 05/14/2005 : 21:41:01
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Hi Everybody. I'm Jana.. and i also came over from the other BDWC. I was diagnosed with rapid cycling Bipolar 2 about a year ago, although tentatively i was diagnosed at 17. I was on Prozac, and it made me freak out. I didnt sleep and i hallucinated. When i went back to my dr, he told me he thought i was Manic Depressive. I called him a liar and never went back to see him. Nice kid huh? Anyways.. about 7 years after that.. i went back to a doctor with my depression and he diagnosed me with Severe Depression. He put me on Paxil and it made me worse. I fell back into Self Injury and was suicidal. That dr told me he thought i was Bipolar, and wanted to give me Depakote. I was scared to try it.. and i never went back to him either. It wasn't until a year ago last February that i was at such a low point that i finally went to see a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I tried different meds and i felt i was making progress until i got demoted at work and lost my insurance. I had to go off my meds, and am now not taking anything but the occasional Xanax when i have it for sleep. I cant sleep at night without it, or i wake up the next day in a panic attack. In September, i will be getting insurance again, so until then, I just have to do what i can.
Theres a little bit about me.. i hope to get to know people better soon.
Love,
Jana  |
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| BlueAngel
New Member
89 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2005 : 12:28:17
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Hi, Jana. Nice to meet you. I sure don't envy the ride you're on, going without meds for so long. I've done it a few times in my past and always suffered disastrous consequences.
Have you investigated prescription assistance programs in your community that you might qualify for? Or asked your doctor to provide samples he/she gets from the drug companies?
Your sleepless nights and panic attacks show that your symptoms are already effecting your life. I hope that we'll be able to help you, if you have to tough it out. I can't help you with the insomnia -- that's a major problem for me and I couldn't sleep at all if it wasn't for the drugs I take.
I have found that regular daily exercise helps me control the physical feelings of panic and anxiety -- and maybe it quiets my mind, too. I like to walk or jog ... but if I could I'd swim laps every day. That really soothes my spirit, for some reason. Of course, you have to have access to a pool, which I don't and can't afford right now. So, I'm walking my way to peace of mind -- rain or shine!
Good Luck, Jana.
BlueAngel  |
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| aquamarine
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1238 Posts
Gratitude: 300
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Posted - 05/15/2005 : 20:41:31
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Hi Jana,
I am glad to see you made it here. I haven't seen a lot of posts from you recently and have been hoping it is because you are feeling better. I wanted to tell you thanks for your support recently on the BP board. I appreciated your standing up for me. It really touched me.
Thanks and hugs,
...Aqua |
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| Jana
Full Member (100+ posts)
177 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 05/15/2005 : 22:53:39
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Aqua,
You're welcome for standing up for you. That person is just wrong. Anyways.. the reason why you havent seen alot of posts from me is because i wont post alot about myself on that board. I just dont feel comfortable since it is an open board and anyone can see it. Not only that.. every time i DO post something about how i am feeling.. i dont feel like i get supported. I've posted recently about my growing anxiety and hardly got any response. Im at the point now where i dont sleep at night anymore unless i take Xanax.. and i am out of it. If i do sleep.. i wake up every morning in a panic attack, and it makes me miserable. I havent been doing okay lately at all. Ive been cycling like crazy and i am so worn out from anxiety that i cant even sleep. I am very frusturated.. depressed.. yet feel so very alone.
Thank you for replying and caring... both of you. It means alot to me to know you all are here and care.
Love,
Jana
BTW.. to use the fonts and underlines.. all you have to do is highlight your entire post.. then click the drop down box where the font is and change your font. Make sure its still highlighted and you do the same to change the color, size. Also the same for bold and underline.. you just make sure it is highlighted and click the bold symbol.. or the underline symbol. To add smileys you just click on the smiley on the left. 
I hope this helps! |
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| soft
New Member
86 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 05/16/2005 : 05:14:11
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Hi Jana and Aqua,
It's so nice to see both of you here
quote:
Originally posted by Jana
Aqua,
You're welcome for standing up for you. That person is just wrong. Anyways.. the reason why you havent seen alot of posts from me is because i wont post alot about myself on that board. I just dont feel comfortable since it is an open board and anyone can see it. Not only that.. every time i DO post something about how i am feeling.. i dont feel like i get supported. I've posted recently about my growing anxiety and hardly got any response. Im at the point now where i dont sleep at night anymore unless i take Xanax.. and i am out of it. If i do sleep.. i wake up every morning in a panic attack, and it makes me miserable. I havent been doing okay lately at all. Ive been cycling like crazy and i am so worn out from anxiety that i cant even sleep. I am very frusturated.. depressed.. yet feel so very alone.
Thank you for replying and caring... both of you. It means alot to me to know you all are here and care.
Love,
Jana
BTW.. to use the fonts and underlines.. all you have to do is highlight your entire post.. then click the drop down box where the font is and change your font. Make sure its still highlighted and you do the same to change the color, size. Also the same for bold and underline.. you just make sure it is highlighted and click the bold symbol.. or the underline symbol. To add smileys you just click on the smiley on the left.
I hope this helps!
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| BlueAngel
New Member
89 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2005 : 08:54:52
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Thanks for the instructions, Jana. I've been trying to use those options, without success. But I think I've got it, now.
If I didn't know better, I'd say we came from the same dysfunctional board. I tried to follow my friends to their new message board and found myself Banned Forever in less than 24 hours! My criticism of their moderators made me persona non grata!
Anyway, I'm glad to meet all of you and I really hope this is the beginning of a supportive and tolerant group. I want to be able to trust that my feelings (no matter how disturbing) will be handled with care. I'll do my best to show the same respect and concern for each of you.
BTW, it's nice to meet you, too, Soft. |
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| aquamarine
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1238 Posts
Gratitude: 300
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Posted - 05/16/2005 : 09:21:30
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Hi Jana,
I am sorry you are having a hard time still. God I can't wait until you get insurance...it seems so unfair that because you work you can't get assistance with meds. I wish I had some to send you...LOL.
I know for me...I posted on the other board anyways...tried to think of the weird stuff (trolls) as personalities I might have to stand up to in real life...so this was good practice for me. I dare say I am getting better at doing just that.
I hope we see you post tons here because you have lots to share and I know your experiences are so similar to mine sometimes so I don't feel so alone in my struggle when you post.
Hugs,
Aqua
P.S.
I tried the highlighting thing to and the clicking the faces. I am wondering if I set up something wrong on my profile (i.e. it says "forum code on", not HTML Code...and I don't know how to change it. Any ideas? |
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| Jana
Full Member (100+ posts)
177 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 05/16/2005 : 15:17:39
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You did it right Aqua. Mine is the same. HTML is off and Forum code is on. After you highlight and change everything.. hit send. Dont worry about all the parenthesis in your reply.. they will go away when you send the message. I hope i helped!
Love,
Jana
PS.. Soft.. its nice to see you! And i also hope that this becomes a nice close group where i am not afraid to speak my mind too. The other one i hate. Its nice to meet everyone here.. and i look forward to getting to know you all soon. |
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| aquamarine
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1238 Posts
Gratitude: 300
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Posted - 05/16/2005 : 17:30:52
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Hi Jana...I am going to see if it works...
You are an amazing friend
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| aquamarine
Amazing Member (1000+ posts)
1238 Posts
Gratitude: 300
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Posted - 05/16/2005 : 17:32:20
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Thanks Jana...I see that it worked now...cool.
...Aqua |
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| Jana
Full Member (100+ posts)
177 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 05/16/2005 : 17:58:51
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Thanks Aqua.. that means alot to me.
Love,
Jana
"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall" Psalms 55:22 |
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| lezard9012
Starting Member
10 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2005 : 05:18:12
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Jana,
Have you thought about looking for assistance from religous organizations? Catholic Charities has helped me in the past (with pregnancy medical bills), and I know my mother's church has paid for her therapy for 2 years. I don't know if your religous, but some organizations do offer a lot of support.
I also took a really low paying (poverty wages) job once, just to get the medical insurance... not fun options, but something. You are very brave for living with this the way you are. I admire that.
Lis
"better living through modern chemistry" can be a beautiful thing |
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| Jana
Full Member (100+ posts)
177 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 05/17/2005 : 13:08:52
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That is not a bad idea.. i never thought about it. Yes, I am a religious person.. but i am not one who goes around preaching to everyone else about how they should live. I believe that right now.. all i can do is work on myself.. and the rest will fall into place. I go to church.. although not regularly because of my work schedule. Im not sure if my church has a program like that, but its worth looking into.
Thanks for your advice!
Jana
"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall" Psalms 55:22 |
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| libracherubim1
Starting Member
17 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2005 : 18:47:22
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Hi Jana:
I am new here, but I have some advice I hope can help you. I do too have lots of trouble sleeping and I sometimes take ATIVAN to help me. But something else that works very good is a warm glass of milk with a tablespoon of honey. You can also do some yoga before you go to sleep, and it would help you calm down your anxiety. It's a shame you don't have insurance and you have to be off your meds. Send me an e-mail at libracherubim1@yahoo.com if you have any questions, or read my posting tvgirl with bp.
Good luck
LibraCherubim1 |
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| Jana
Full Member (100+ posts)
177 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 05/22/2005 : 08:32:01
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Libra,
Thank you for that advice. I will try that.. i will try anything at this point!!!!
Love,
Jana
"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall" Psalms 55:22 |
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| libracherubim1
Starting Member
17 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2005 : 10:11:10
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Hi Jana:
Thanks for the message you posted on my topic. I too want to get to know you better. You got my e-mail, so drop me a line! Ohh a bit of good news, yesterday I slept like a baby. I took my Ativan 1mg and I prayed before going to bed... I think the latter helped me much more.
See ya,
LibraCherubim1 |
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Jana
