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Mood Disorder Community
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bpfarmerswife
Starting Member
3 Posts
Gratitude: 10
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 Posted - 08/13/2014 : 13:40:50
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My husband and I are currently trying to work thru his diagnosis of Bipolar I as a result of him having an affair. He went thru a manic episode and we had no idea what so ever about Bipolar. I was wanting a divorce and he started to self harm and became suicidal and we got him to a psychiatrist.. His uncle was diagnosed manic depressive in the 60's and other uncle committed suicide in 80's.
Does all of this sound common:
Said it wasn't him, he'd never do that
Rapid weight loss
Exercising to extreme( never one to exercise before)
Felt like he was trapped and I released him when I found out
Thought it was okay to be doing this, doing nothing wrong yet hid it
Never been attracted to this person in past, actually made fun of her physical features
Talked excessively, someone noted they thought he was on drugs
Very irritable and moody
Turned against me and his mom
Listened to music really loud
Any input would be greatly appreciated. We are still so baffled as to where this all came from. This is the total opposite of who he normally is and so out of character for him. Thanks  |
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/13/2014 : 14:05:33
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rapid weight loss happened to me too when I was first ill in 1992.
The meds have the opposite effect.
The symptoms of psychosis can sometimes be similar to the symptoms of taking some illicit drugs, most noticeably LSD cocaine, mescaline,psilocybin and amphetamines.
I am sorry about your husband having an affair, sending hugs.
Welcome to MT
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/13/2014 : 14:26:35
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By the way it is crucial you keep your husband away from "recreational" or street drugs such as the aforementioned LSD, cocaine, amphetamines, mescaline psilocybin or any such thing. Even cannabis is dangerous to BP patients. Get your husband to avoid these things like the plague.
Keep his alchohol intake quite low preferably under 21 units a week. If it goes over 40 units a week make sure you tell his doctors. ( a can of normal strength lager is roughly 2 units a bottle of spirits can be 25-40 units depending on the size and strength)
Make sure he takes his prescribed medicines regularly, reliably and at roughly the right time. Misssing an occasional dose is acceptable, missing meds a lot is not.
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/13/2014 : 14:37:50
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Is your husband on Lithium? Or tegretol or valproate? Is he on a neuroleptic or an anti-depressant? Or I am being nosey?
Have you heard about fish oil treatment? Its a complementary medicines treatment of fish oil such as cod liver oil, or omega 3 and 6 fish oils on top of the prescribed meds together with a multivitamin that substantially aids mental health. They are availably in most pharmacies over the counter.
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/13/2014 : 15:04:43
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Is your husband in hospital at the moment?
try to get him not to watch too much TV especially try and and get him not to watch too much violent TV, certificate 18 movies or computer games. Just a suggestion.
try an get him involved in occupational therapy and arts and crafts and being creative if he is up to it. Board games is another good type of therapy, most psychiatric wards now have a collection for nurses to play with patients, you can do it when he gets out of hospital too, (is he still in hospital?)Most psychiatric wards have a pool table, try playing him at this too.
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/13/2014 : 15:36:20
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sometimes sport and exercise can be therapeutic. I used to go to a five a side football team in the noughties with occupational therapy. Sometimes hard to get motivated. Just going for a walk can be a bit beneficial to mental health (and physical health of course)
Try to get a balanced diet where possible. I am somewhat being a hypocrite here as with the last item about exercise (but sometimes I do try)remember the 4 food group philosophy and try and cut back on fats if you can, (OK, OK, I am being a bit of hypocrite here, I love Chinese food, pizzas and burgers, but try if you can)
Having a strong support network of friends and relatives really helps. It is important for all mentally ill people, but is especially important with bipolar patients who tend to be extrovert and more of need of social stimulation.I realise you and your husband will be finding it difficult to get on at the moment because of the affair but try and see to it that he sees his friends and family if you can.
It is absolutely crucial that your husband keeps seeing his psychiatrist, CPN (community psychiatric nurse)social worker and the rest of the mental health team. He may need assistance keeping appointments at least to begin with.
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| bpfarmerswife
Starting Member
3 Posts
Gratitude: 10
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Posted - 08/13/2014 : 15:51:15
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Jonathan90125 thank you for your reply, he had started drinking really heavy at the beginning of last year and it was gradually getting worse. I told him me or the alcohol and he stopped around July last yr. Not a drop since  He has never had recreational drugs in any form. He now states that he was depressed at the beginning of the year and got the idea in his head that I didn't love him anymore. He was very paranoid about me too. He thought that every time i was talking to someone that I was talking about him.
There was no sex in the affair but they kissed multiple times. When the affair came to light and he was suicidal, I got him to psychiatrist, with the intention of getting him stable so that i could divorce him, when we got the diagnosis of Bipolar. Pdoc puts him in the severe to extreme category. He diagnosed him as Bipolar I with psychosis because he lost touch of reality. HE SEEMED SO NORMAL. I knew things were off some with him but not knowing ANYTHING about Bipolar, I just coughed it up to be he was wanting to diet excessively. He thought he could ride his bike an extreme distance in a short period of time and did not think through the situation clearly at all. (was going to pond to feed fish and no way he could ride bike thru sand to get to feed and be back in allotted time--we were leaving to go out of town and he needed to be showered and ready in an hour--no way he could accomplish this) Pdoc prescribed him Depakote and Seroquel then later up the dosage when we told him about the "visions" (pdoc said hallucinations) he has.
Here are some of those:
*spiders everywhere
*saw a family of "tacos" on the beach sitting in lounge chairs
*wall of all sorts of symbols with a dial in the middle that you turn
*fork spoon combination where the fork slid out
*Monkey with swirling blue eyes like for hypnotizing
*Blue scaly serpentine creature
It goes on and on. Many more that we've documented. These come when he closes his eyes. He has seen people walk into our bedroom and has heard someone call his name twice along with someone saying "chick boom" (he asked me what that was and I don't have a clue what it could be)
He has not been hospitalized but we almost had him admitted during the suicide times because he would not surrender the gun one night to me and he slept with it. It got really close to having to admit him. But he turned things around before we had to.
We really haven't watched TV since all this happened. Honestly it's too hard for me to see some of the scenes and I get upset. Even music hurts to listen to. We have started watching a little more here in the last 2 weeks.
Thank you again and if there's anything else, please suggest. We need all the advice and help we can get to make it thru this. (married 22yrs) |
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/14/2014 : 06:34:18
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hi bpfarmerswife,
Are you sure he doesn't have schizophrenia or schizo-affective disorder, his symptoms sound more schizoid. Though I am not a psydoc.
If there was no esx in the affair, you don't think it might be possible to patch up your marriage? Just a thought.
Keeping him off alcohol and illicit drugs good.
KEEP HIM AWAY FROM GUNS. VERY IMPORTANT. THANKFULLY ITS NOT AN ISSUE WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH MUCH IN UK, BECAUSE OF TIGHT FIREARM LAWS. I assume you are from the USA.
Reading is good therapy, both normal novels and fiction and also non-fiction. Sometimes reading self help/psychology can help as well.
Keep posting.
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| stigmastomper (inactive)
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
24317 Posts
Gratitude: 1940
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Posted - 08/14/2014 : 19:48:29
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i have nothing to add to what jonathonn hass said. i hope that everything in your lives will be sorted out soon .
great job helping them jonathon
hi,
please pardon the typos I'm using the speech recognition dictation program. Thank you. PS you all rock |
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/21/2014 : 10:19:49
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If your husband is a non-smoker then keep him away from tobacco too. If he does smoke now is probably not a good time to get him off it, just let him smoke for now.
Psychotherapy may be an optional extra if you've got lots of money, probably not worth it if you're not,(not unless the government is paying for it). Probably not essential let's put it like that, certainly not as important as his lithium and neuroleptic or whatever pills he is on.
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| bpfarmerswife
Starting Member
3 Posts
Gratitude: 10
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Posted - 08/21/2014 : 12:03:14
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No he does not smoke. As to if there was no sex in affair, can we work it out? I'm still in marriage at this time and we are trying. The psychiatrist is really helping a lot with issues as they arrive. As long as hubby stays on meds, keeps going to dr, and is transparent with me about everything, I'm planning on working on the marriage. He knows though that we're done if this ever happens again. There are no more strikes, he's had his warning.
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/21/2014 : 13:25:42
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Not all computer games are bad for mental health. I would tend to suggest that the cert 18 ones are the ones for your husband to avoid.
Not all computer games are violent, Myst and other games in that series and genre is non-violent and I think that sort of games is good for mental health. Other games such as Civilization 4 do contain violence, but in a way that is not likely to be harmful to a psychiatric patient's mental health, and I think that sort of game is therapeutic too.
To be honest the efficacy of psychotherapy is somewhat doubtful. The psychologist Hans Eyesenck did an investigation into various of psychotherapy and found is was no more effective than placebo trteament. I saw cousellors at college and did find I somewhat helpful, but its no where near as important as your pills (or even the fishoils)
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/21/2014 : 14:15:47
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He is stable and not drinking, not smoking and you are trying to patch up the marriage good.
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/26/2014 : 10:16:37
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Another thing I find therapeutic is a hot bath, with bath foam bubble mix. Perhaps you could try him on it. A shower with some nice smelly stuff too and a shave with aftershave after.
Another I find helps my "nerves" is a trip down the local municipal swimming baths and sport centre, with a sauna and steam room and a dip in the pool and jaccuzzi.
Another thing I find helpful is relaxing music, like 'Enya' Try and keep him from spending too much time listening to heavy stuff like Pink FLoyd and Metallica when he's depressed, though a bit of this may be therapeutic.
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/26/2014 : 11:05:50
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Another wee thing:- try and get him some good sleep.
I currently have an addiction to caffeine and I drink too much coffee. As addictions go it is relatively harmless, much, much less risky than tobacco or alcohol or 'street' drugs, there is a very slight risk of bladder cancer or kidney problems; but I am now trying to make it policy to not drink coffee after 8pm in the evening, after this time I am trying to make it policy to drink something else such as hot chocolate, a malty drink like Horlicks or Ovaltine, or a fruit or herbal tea (I have an oral fixation as well as a caffeine addiction) A adult should get at least 7 hours sleep in a night, preferably eight. At the very least six hours sleep. Sleeping little over an extended period of time tends to be an indicator of mental ill health, either mania, depression or schizophrenia, I remember when I was severely ill in 1992 and 1993 I slept little.
As he recovers, you can try and get him to help you round the house with housework and shopping, but from the sounds of it he may not be up to it right at the moment, people in the acute stage of mania or depression or schizophrenia can't generally cope with these things. Once he is quite well try and get him doing housework and shopping as this can be both therapeutic and necessary (I can imagine you could do with the help!) after a year or two try a college course maybe, then later voluntary work, and then finally a couple of years after that if he is really well you could ask his doctor if he is capable of paid work. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day. These things take time.
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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| Jonathan90125
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
4098 Posts
Gratitude: 378
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Posted - 08/26/2014 : 11:16:42
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So your husband sometimes exercises to excess, that is a problem I am not used to, so I don't know how to deal with it. Undereating can be as much a problem as overeating, I was undereating when I first became ill in 1992 and I was down to a size 26 inch waist. That all changed after I was medicated and I have had the opposite problem since.
Maybe you should talk to your psydoc about the possibility of upping the dose of neuroleptic to deal with the hallucinations. Just a auggestion.
We see through a glass. darkly:- St.Paul
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Manic Affair
