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KeriRae
Starting Member
13 Posts |
 Posted - 06/12/2005 : 10:52:49
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Ok. I am a member to 3 forums. I was just at the opiate- heroin detox forum- not one person talking about depression or bipolar. So, unless I missed it, I dont see anybody here talking about addiction. I also go to the crazymeds forum. Now, I swear that I read somewhere that half of the bipolar people also have problems with addiction (cant find it today though). Is this even true?
I've been reading the forums all day and I cant seem to find what I need. I am on Lamictal and lately I've been waking up with dreams still floating around in my head. I know that may be common on this drug but it just started for me (about 3 months on Lamictal). Today, I am a mess. I got very stressed last Monday and Tuesday and I relapsed Wednesday. Apparently I was out on Thursday. I woke up Friday hugging my bathtub. I must have fallen because I have a scar underneath my chin. More stress to come next week since I wasnt awake to call into work until Friday. My stomach is a complete mess. I've taken so many pills that I can barely keep the Lamictal down these days. I know this is from all the vicodin I've eaten over the past 4 years. I am managing though.
My psychiatrist doesnt know I am on Suboxone and my suboxone doc wont see me anymore. Since the relapse, he says he cant treat both conditons. I have about 8 pills of suboxone left and I'm trying to make them last (I have to find money to see a new doctor). OK, I am rambling. Anyway, I was just wondering who else is suffering from bipolar and addiction. If you are, please share and tell me how you are managing. I really need to know I am not alone here.
Thanks,
Keri  |
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| PolarOne
Super Member (250+ posts)
456 Posts
Gratitude: 113
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Posted - 06/12/2005 : 12:03:46
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Hi KeriRae,
(I've heard the figure of 50% BP having co-morbid addiction problems. Personally I feel this figure is likely to be much higher, given people's reluctance to talk about these problems. Addictions come in lots of different forms. Personally my run-in was with alcohol in younger days. It is possible to move on.
Guess I'm sort of addicted to Effexor at the moment, given its side-effects if I miss a dose.)
Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time of it lately.
Personally I'd have thought one PDoc. looking after both problems would be better for you. As that 50% figure suggests, any Doc who deals with BP should also be familiar with treating addiction problems, amongst other things. I think any PDoc needs to know the whole story (about the Suboxone). Might be problems with Insurance etc. though?
Might be some cultural differences in how this is treated so no wise words on this. In UK, Family Docs. and 'Walk- In Centres' would deal with your prescription needs. Guess that would be the first priority if you need more to get you over this. A PDoc would be better.
Similarly, no wise words on long-term treatment. I thought a 12-step type program was one of the most useful treatments? Not sure.
Anyway, you're not the only one to have had these sorts of problems.
Take Care.
"Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title." Virginia Woolf |
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| flyinghound
Super Member (250+ posts)
305 Posts
Gratitude: 6
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Posted - 08/09/2005 : 07:05:10
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As I do most things, I'm replying late to this post. I have chemical issues-2 to be exact. Alcohol and a run-in with prescription Klonopin. As is stands I no longer attend my AA meetings-because of panic/anxiety issues(speaking in front of a crowd/and people watching me). I have considered doing a chemical dependency for mentally ill program here in my community. It is smaller and more one on one. I have been sober from alcohol 7 months and no rx narcotics/benzos for 5 years.
It would seem more BP's would have chemical issues, I used alcohol to "depress" the unwielding agitation and what appeared at times to be "visions" in my head.(Now I sound like I've really lost it!!)
I later learned this was mania becoming a psychotic state-I was not taking my meds then. Things are going great now!! |
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| kazhil
New Member
71 Posts |
Posted - 08/09/2005 : 08:09:15
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hey there,
glad to see there is someone else here. I've been in a 12 step program: narcotics anonymous for years. i started in AA then went to both now only ocassionally to AA. I was clean the first time for 4 years, relapsed for 18 month, and have been clean now for 9 years and six months as of tomorrow. Keeping clean is more of an issue for us and for schizophrenics due to our chemical make-up. It's not easy but it is possible. I'll be here for moral support. I'm checking the board everyday. Remember- being honest with yourself and reaching out is a huge step. In fact it's the first step to a new life. You can do it. I have faith in you.
As for therapy, I've been with my new therapist for 5 or 6 years. what he doesn't know about addiction I fill him in. after all, he only had the textbook version of drug education. He is a psychotherapist (and a family doctor in his other practice) I have a family doctor as well and she is fully aware of my addiction and refered me to my shrink. Finding someone I was comfortable with has been a process. I now see doctors and therapists in a more human light. I've learned they can only help me to the degree that I am open and honest with them. I deserve to be heard and respected for who and what I am. The only one who can take that away is me.
take care,
love kaz
p.s the Lamactil is giving me vivid dreams as well. I've been on it for 4 days |
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| flyinghound
Super Member (250+ posts)
305 Posts
Gratitude: 6
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Posted - 08/11/2005 : 05:43:32
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Thank you for your support. I have a pdoc appt today and it is going to be a good day-I can just feel it. Ever have one of those? I hope everyone has a good day today! |
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| KeriRae
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 08/11/2005 : 15:56:23
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| Well, I am doing better these days. I'm not sure how long I've been on Lamictal now but I know it is helping me. I feel so much better than before. The agitation is gone and stress is not near as bad as before. I am still struggling with addiction everyday. Some days, I dont even think about drugs. I know I need to be in a 12 step program but it IS hard to talk to so many strangers. Coming here and the other forums helps. I think most of my problems are because its become habit. I dont know how to cope without drugs and so I'm still learning. Keeping myself busy and being with family and friends helps the most. So, I am still learning everyday. Eventhough I am not free from drugs, I am feeling more confident and I now know I am still a fun person without them. Support here helps. Thank you. |
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| flyinghound
Super Member (250+ posts)
305 Posts
Gratitude: 6
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Posted - 08/11/2005 : 19:41:46
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Greetings-
I have a quick question to throw out-has anyone of you had success with antabuse or naltrexone? I did the antabuse thing twice and stopped taking the darned things-and it always seemed like one innocent drink led me to "manicity." You know the uncontrollable behaviors and for me , more often than not-voices when I was drunk.
As stated before I just can't do the AA/NA thing, but I do try to read my "blue book" when I can. I really don't have many urges anymore to drink-but just that one drink would start things rolling.
I've lost too many friends over my drinking-alot of times I blame the loss of friends on my illness. |
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| kazhil
New Member
71 Posts |
Posted - 08/11/2005 : 19:52:56
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Okay, lets try this again. if it comes up twice I think I hit the "post new reply" button before I meant to.
Dear KeriRae
Going to a twelve step meeting can also mean just sitting and listening. Or leaning against the back wall away from everyone, if that is your comfort zone. Lots of times I go to meetings just to listen. After all, learning is give and take: listening and talking. No-one will force you to go past your comfort zone. Twelve step groups are self-help and depend on the participation and mutual respect of its members. But participation means when you feel comfortable enough or hurt so much you just have to get it out. It's okay to be exactly as you are at a meeting and don't worry if the tears come. Being real around others in the same situation is a very powerful remedy.
Through 12 step Groups I have learned how to stay clean through any stressful situation. I have learned it's okay to ask for help and that being an addict isn't a weekness. Go to www.na.org/ There are even online chatrooms. Good luck.
with love,
kaz
quote:
Originally posted by KeriRae
Well, I am doing better these days. I'm not sure how long I've been on Lamictal now but I know it is helping me. I feel so much better than before. The agitation is gone and stress is not near as bad as before. I am still struggling with addiction everyday. Some days, I dont even think about drugs. I know I need to be in a 12 step program but it IS hard to talk to so many strangers. Coming here and the other forums helps. I think most of my problems are because its become habit. I dont know how to cope without drugs and so I'm still learning. Keeping myself busy and being with family and friends helps the most. So, I am still learning everyday. Eventhough I am not free from drugs, I am feeling more confident and I now know I am still a fun person without them. Support here helps. Thank you.
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| KeriRae
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 08/11/2005 : 19:59:18
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| I could try the online thing. As far as antabuse-no. I'm not sure about that (my ex was a drinker). I have tried the Suboxone (for opiate addicts, not drinkers). I wish I had some. |
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| kazhil
New Member
71 Posts |
Posted - 08/11/2005 : 20:03:52
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Dear Flyinghound
Although I haven't had either of these substances, i understand the one drink manicity. AA has online meetings as well. You can go to www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
love kaz
quote:
Originally posted by flyinghound
Greetings-
I have a quick question to throw out-has anyone of you had success with antabuse or naltrexone? I did the antabuse thing twice and stopped taking the darned things-and it always seemed like one innocent drink led me to "manicity." You know the uncontrollable behaviors and for me , more often than not-voices when I was drunk.
As stated before I just can't do the AA/NA thing, but I do try to read my "blue book" when I can. I really don't have many urges anymore to drink-but just that one drink would start things rolling.
I've lost too many friends over my drinking-alot of times I blame the loss of friends on my illness.
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| KeriRae
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 08/11/2005 : 20:14:23
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Kaz, i went to the NA website but I didnt see the chat link. Am I in the right place?
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| kazhil
New Member
71 Posts |
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| kazhil
New Member
71 Posts |
Posted - 08/11/2005 : 22:46:50
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You might also like this one
http://groups.msn.com/ANewWay2
kaz
quote:
Originally posted by KeriRae
Kaz, i went to the NA website but I didnt see the chat link. Am I in the right place?
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| KeriRae
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2005 : 18:27:32
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| Thanks. This is weird.. After I couldnt find it, I looked in the yahoo chat for the same. I found two rooms that are pretty cool. The 2nd night I hung out there, a guy asked if he new me. It was the guy across the hall from me! Anyway, he is in NA and we stayed up all night talking. He gave me a book to read. Too strange to me. I guess I better get to reading it soon. What are the odds? |
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| kazhil
New Member
71 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2005 : 06:32:03
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Did you hear? There are no coincidences, just God keeping his anonymity. He sure is talking to you girl! Help is always closer than we know.
love kaz
quote:
Originally posted by KeriRae
Thanks. This is weird.. After I couldnt find it, I looked in the yahoo chat for the same. I found two rooms that are pretty cool. The 2nd night I hung out there, a guy asked if he new me. It was the guy across the hall from me! Anyway, he is in NA and we stayed up all night talking. He gave me a book to read. Too strange to me. I guess I better get to reading it soon. What are the odds?
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| KeriRae
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 08/20/2005 : 18:11:01
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| So, I've been to meetings. I missed one last Tuesday cause I was depressed. The other days, I was depressed but went anyway. I think they help. I got my white tag Friday. He is kinda making me go- talking me into it. tonight, I will go alone. Its a candle light meeting so i am sure I will enjoy it. I havent talked yet. Maybe I will when I get over my shyness. I am just now figuring how screwed up I really am. I am dealing with a ton of emotions that I didnt have in the last few years of using, so I will really need to go to all the meetings I can. I will try to go everyday in the beginning. My neighbor guy, Eric says his friend relapsed after 11 years clean. So, it seems I will always have to struggle with this. I will have to change my whole life and way of thinking. I really like the meetings, so far. The people are so nice and they dont judge me-like I thought they would. It's really been nice. I hope to be as strong as they are. I really love your help. Thanks so much. |
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Am I the only one?
