My sister and I got into a bit of a debate yesterday. I believe many of my mother's problems are due to her having a personality disorder. She seems to fit the criteria for paranoid and narcissistic. Her father was controlling, her mother distant (often working) and there is a liekly possibility of childhood sexual abuse. I believe her problems are why she turned to alcohol. My sister believes my mother's problems are due to her use of alcohol and not a personality disorder and that it is only through the use of alcohol that she now seems to fit the criteria for a personality disorder. Whatever might have happened to her in the past only served as a trigger for her to use alcohol. Its basically addiction versus a personality disorder. So which came first, the chicken or the egg? Or, alternatively, does it really matter since in any case my mother is who she is and anything I learn to better relate to her can only help? What do you think? Rory
Do you like her? My sister believes my mother has narcissistic personality disorder and she does display some of the traits but I believe she has untreated bipolar, like her mother did and like I do (I do take pills for it). Your mother might have a lot going on. Usually in the mentally ill alcohol use is a substitute for treatment, it kind of smoothes out the edges.
I am an alcoholic but I have not had a drink for many years. Alcohol is a simpton and not the cause. I may not drink any more but it did not cure me of my causes. I have a lot of simptons left from the cause, I just have a lot more good days. Either way its a start in the right direction. Susan
thanks everybody, I agree that drinking is a symptom. And, whatever started her drinking, my mother is an alcoholic. Who, as far as I can tell has no wish to stop. Does anybody have advice about dealing with alcoholism in a family member. I have been thinking I should see if there is an al-anon here. Since the University of Oregon is here and a pretty sizeable community, I'm sure there is some sort of a support group. I cannot say I never drink. However, I make sure I never drink to mask pain or to numb whatever emotional or physical pain there is in my life. Mostly the occassional glass or two of wine with a meal or a few drinks with friends. I do not want to become an alcoholic. Thanks again, Rory