I am just entering a phase of depression, which mainly has the effect that I am unable to do my work because my mind is just on 1 topic which i want to share and ask for your help. I have a 4 month intense, turbulent relationship behind me, the man I was living with , suffered from severe mood swings. Again and again he accused me that I trigger anger in him especially the closer we got the more angry he got.He always said he doesn`t want a relationship but it turned out to be one although I was not pushing on it, having difficulties with relationships myself. He never got phyiscally aggressive, but emotionally. Cutting me off, then endless discussions, a phase of withdrawal but we got back together again and more intense and closer than before. I thought we found a good strategy to cope with it, but 4 weeks ago I had to leave for a project to the other side of the planet. First the contact was frequent, caring and supporting. Suddenly he stopped the contact. Now I got a destructive mail in which he gives mixed messages: for one asking if we could find a balance and that he wishes for a new start. But at the same time he explains, that he never felt good with me, just dissonance and destructive energy.He wanted only friendship and I pushed him into more stepping over his boundaries. And that it was me constantly disrespecting his boarders. He only feels anger and rage triggered by me. What to do now? We had very positive times but he cannot see or feel them. Being the target of such a negative perspective makes me feel angry, desperate and confused. I just can`t get out of it somehow. When I was there it was always calming down again(I heard thoses things before, and excuses would come , it is his pattern). but now, being thousands of miles away I feel helpless and fight against my own depression.
I am the anger trigger
Posted - 11/03/2012 : 03:02:50
