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Davekyn
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

2412 Posts
Gratitude: 166

Posted - 02/06/2012 :  03:19:41  Show Profile  Visit Davekyn's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Thank you sadgirl ...
I understand now, why the test posts are there. I got a bit riled that they have not been deleted, but can see, they have been left to prove some point to those of you who could not respond. I'm still a bit on edge.
I saw admin has responded to so many people after I checked notify admin, and really got my nose bent out of shape...for not getting a response to my apology...must be this moving thing.

I read your replies in the social guys...big thanks to you all.
I printed this out to go with my new 12 month mental health plan...I figure I will share it with the psychologist if they want to really know me.

Rainbow...I am not offended,but very pleased about the picture choice in your response. Although I have not been reading my tracks, i still am subscribed to my two monthly devotionals. Although my mind is awash with doubt, it really is man, that I have turned my back on. I can not adaquetly type on mypad for such a topic...but would love to pick itup in my next post....in the mean time...takecare all....zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Moving On...
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chelle25
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

7607 Posts
Gratitude: 912
Very caringVery wiseVery honest

Posted - 02/06/2012 :  07:20:12  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Glad you saw our responses in the social Dave. My new home was broken as well. I could not post in my blog last night without the error message. Looks like all is well now :)
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Diesel
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

5266 Posts
Gratitude: 115

Posted - 02/06/2012 :  09:43:13  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I'm here Dave! Got to go to the grind. Will be back!

I just want to be happy and healthy. Nothing more, nothing less!
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Davekyn
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

2412 Posts
Gratitude: 166

Posted - 02/06/2012 :  13:05:15  Show Profile  Visit Davekyn's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Glad to hear it Chelle...heading your way in a moment
Admin has me so Busy now, catching you all in different places as I AVOID the social forum...I no longer no why I don't want to go back there...but I have had enough of something that goes on there...will work it out later I guess...but this running about is a good thing as it might mean more to people when I have to go a knocking

Diesel...........I know you have been busy...but thanks for popping in as briefly as it is...it still means a huge amount to me. Don't grind to hard....and I really hope your guitar playing is going well.
I am thinking I might actually get some new strings for my old cheap guitar and practice a tune JUST for you!!!!! Nothing fancy...just a bit of a blusey folk tune or a little spanishy thing I made up...what ever comes back first..however AI will have to compulsively play it over and over till I think its about half done...which is always the case no matter how long I will play it into the future...than I have to dry the blood on my fingers and start over with a little less pressure.....finally record it a few times, then maybe I will be right to upload it for you.......I'll let you know when I get the strings...and I'll be sure to change them a few times and have them nicely broken in when it's time.

Moving On...
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Sadgirl
Super Member (250+ posts)

847 Posts
Gratitude: 215
Very caring

Posted - 02/06/2012 :  14:12:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
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stigmastomper (inactive)
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)

24317 Posts
Gratitude: 1940
Very caringVery wiseVery funnyVery honestI agree

Posted - 02/07/2012 :  03:39:20  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
hello davekyn

good morning

i had no idea that your formative years were so difficult.

your toast masters speech was really an excellent one.

and i am all the more glad you have seen fit to call me a freind.










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Davekyn
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

2412 Posts
Gratitude: 166

Posted - 02/07/2012 :  14:26:26  Show Profile  Visit Davekyn's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hi Stigs and Thanks mate

I would like to apologize in advance as I don't think I am gong to be able to pop into everyone's threads in the upcoming days or week...possibly two...

The falling out with my Job has resulted in some rather nasty emails, to which my wife has been a great help, assisting me with keeping to the facts and keeping the emotion out of my responses. This seems to be making the other party get more irate and acuse me of the very bullying antics I have reported him for. ROLLS EYES...(allow me to express emotion in here please...lol...arrr bless my wife for being so in control during such times...

We are packing boxes...or I mean my wife has started this process, while I have been outside finishing off the big Mow job that got away on me. Today I will pull down some of my fenceing, pass over the Hens to my neighbor, do a dump run of general waste, cut back and make a green waste pile...That should about be enough....

Still feeling very run down......going to request to see a social worker before or at the next specified welfare appointment...still extremely anxious about that AS ALWAYS!!! You get some good ones, BUT when you get control freaks...it is such a drain to put up with such cruelty.......

Hmmmmmmm.....what else..........I have touched base with a few good frineds again and feel SO much better having done so...They dais they even missed me...my mania and all (seriously...I don't even know what you call me at any rate)

I am still getting sun and my sleeping routine is much the same...although maybe getting a little more of a lay in.

My bloods are aparently ok, although it was such a hassels to get the info.......arrgghhhhh.............enough about that damn Doctor.

Smiles.............SIM CITY 4 looks like it has my attention again...I need a good pc game filled with heaps of micro managing, but at a pace that does not beat me down with others attacking...such as Star Craft II and the like

Oh why they have not made a Sim City 5 is beyond me. I can't believe I have 2 of the latest graphics card running in crossfire with an extreme amount of killer memory plus the latest CPU and Hard drive technology............

...And I want to play a game like 9 years old and in a series expanding two DECADES ... Obviously I am as stubborn as hell and or its just a fantastic game yet to be reviled.

I even joined the Sim City 4 Devotion Forum. Downloaded the Deluxe version that does Not require a wide screen Hack...although I did alter the shortcut properties to play in 1080X1920 and after enabling what effects there are...am still happy with the look......its the game play that other developers have not been able to reproduce in the more graphical and botched attempt to reinvent this series of city builders.

Anyways....that's about it for now.................
I really have to fight the procrastination that is creeping back on me...and have lots to do.......I will make more effort with you all later...but will have to just sit in here for a whiles and use it for my diary type thing for now...until mabey after a few weeks in the new house.

actually move date is this Saturday coming...but lots to do now...and will be renting this house for a further two weeks to do the right thing by the owners and keep a good rental record. (copious amounts of spring cleaning and yard work...plus will be moving slowly with Ute and trailer loads

Later guys...Hope you doing OK

Moving On...
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chelle25
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

7607 Posts
Gratitude: 912
Very caringVery wiseVery honest

Posted - 02/07/2012 :  16:40:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
I hope your move goes smoothly for you Dave. We'll be looking forward to your return when you get everything squared away.

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Diesel
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

5266 Posts
Gratitude: 115

Posted - 02/07/2012 :  17:40:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hi Dave! How are you today? I really appreciate you relearning a song to play for me. Whenever your ready I would love to hear it. I have to start recording myself. So far I have only recorded myself on my sons phone.

I didn't know about your background Dave. You have had a very tough life but it proves one thing and that is that you are mentally strong to be able to overcome the adversities in your life. I really admire you for this.

Your boss sounds like a slave driver. He is one of those typical bosses that squeeze everything out of you until you have no more left to give. I'm glad you quit. You are so much better than that!

Your toastmaster speech was amazing. It was an emotional journey for me to read it. People sitting in their mighty gold towers have no idea what it's like. Things are better for me now that I'm older but when we were first married and with baby it was beyond tough. We went without just my first born could have food in his belly. I used cloth diapers at the time as well. We would sit counting our pennies trying to scrounge money together for baby formulae. We sold our own personal possessions or hawked them at the pawn shop! We had a roof over our head and a happy well fed baby but we were so hungry all the time. This was before food banks were prevalent. We were both unemployed with no way of getting out of the hole. I will never forget where I have come from. I can't imagine the anguish and the grief that you experienced. Your speech brought tears to my eyes.

I'm pretty depressed today about this whole social forum situation. I feel that I'm partially to blame even though I was just defending myself. This sucks because I feel that I am not welcomed here by some. I know that you and Lynn are not mad a me but the rest I don't know. I noticed that Juniper was quite upset by the whole incident. Leo had no right to say what he said and if he leaves because of this well that's no skin off of me. It's called being ethical. Why would someone make fun of a life and death situation is beyond me. I feel like just collapsing and crying. I feel somewhat rejected for something that was not of my own doing. I will always admit when making a mistake but this time I made no mistake. I know that there a lot of people who like Loggedin but for what he said to me I'm angry not at him for his lack of judgement in making cruel comments towards me.

Sorry Dave I just had to get this off my chest. I'm off to go practice playing for a while. I know it will make me feel a lot better. Talk to you later my dear freind!

I just want to be happy and healthy. Nothing more, nothing less!
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Davekyn
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

2412 Posts
Gratitude: 166

Posted - 02/07/2012 :  21:34:22  Show Profile  Visit Davekyn's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hi Diesel,
sorry you are feeling as such...play your guitar and forgot about all this stuff...However, please know that you can say anything in my thread...anyone can and even if it ends in a bit of unwanted tension, I am very quick to forgive.

I'm glad you know what its like to do it hard ... obviously you remember well enough to appreciate better times. I wish it could of been easier, but then I may of turned out to far on the other end of the stick ... making me a phony, toffy nosed know it all basing my life on status and possessions...all that abundance BS...as some kind of guage as to what and how I should treat others...

Lucky for us ... we know better and can see further.

Admittedly ... my sensitivities often lead me to jumping the gun or not seeing as clearly as I should ... and with respect to LEO, I would like you to consider that he ... may not have intended to offend as much as we took his comments to be ...

I reacted (as I often do and will and am trying to be a little slower doing) feeling very hurt myself ... but LEO has a different perspective...one that often lifts the spirits of many when they are feeling down...ofcourse just like some of us overly sensitive types there is no doubt some flaws in that as there is in any human sphycy ...

I have at times clashed with LEO ... BUT he was as willing as I in the end to see between our difference and find some common ground...Leo is not one of the poeple that goes out of his way to cause conflict...NOT AT ALL...he does much the opisite...

Leo's insight is way ahead of mine in many ways and I think he was just trying to avoid some of the tension that in many ways has been building ... I think it is a different tention to how we see it, as many of us more empathic types can handle more pain than others:

Now I am generalizing to some degree now...but my thinking is that there has been an overwhelming and ongoing support group building up in the social that just became what it did ... due to the Number of dire events taking place just about all at once ... In some way, I think it was a GOOD thing that folk like Lynn was able to be on Hand ... I wont name name's but it's been quite obvious the ones, like myself that are finding the "instruction/request" to ease the social thread up a little by linking eleswhere and so on ... a bit difficult to swallow...are the people who'm are perhaps a little on the empath side....whilst they themselves can be drained...they are the first types of people to just come running up and help take ones pain on as best they can with what I would regard is the very unconditional love we all look for.........of course for those who are not so empathic....the more logical/Intelect type that see more black and white..........the less emotional type...........not to sugest they are void of emotion.....without going into the pros and cons of either emotional type...(both have good qualities)...

________________________________________________________________
I'm suggesting that the number of dire events and groupings of such individuals, was unfortunate ... it did however facilitate an opportunity in which those that were suffering & those that cared enough, to engage in an outpouring of emotion (and Love) that helped to heal those individuals; but in turn overwhelmed many others in the background...Also what is unfortunate is that for those of us that get wraped in in these events, we loose sight of how draining this can be on others...

NOW...............SOCIAL..........well I guess it is meant as a light and easy coffee shop or recreaction hall of sorts..........I get that......I.......think maybe we need a new kind of social room for us more serious types...lol...not that we don't know how to have fun as well............but that's another story we can talk about later...what I guess I am trying to present...is how we can loose sight of others...and now that we have had a chance to think a bit more in our own spaces ...

Can I ask you to consider my break down of the situation, so that we can understand what it is that LEO was trying to say to us? Remember...in some ways, I was the first to jump at the comments relating to such toppics ... BUT ... I soon regreted it, because I later could see what was being said in a different light.....

I do feel however.....that when I am quick to forgive others and evnetually become critical of myself follwed with my continual apollogies...I do feel that people don't think much of what I say...

But I know you will listen.......It's good to try and reason:
And I like hearing you get it off your chest like that.....but I don't like you being in too much much for too long....we all need to move on...and the best way is to start giving in a little bit, even if it means feeling we are ripping ourselves off in the process......

I really hope you understand a little of what I am trying to say.....
I am the worst for all this preaching stuff....and know I get so self involved at times...but I do care, just as all those others of us, that saw it fit to do as we did at the time...................sometimes we just have to stop worring about what others think in order to reach in deep and give the most honest and genuine hand we can to others in the time of need...and in that same process we help ourselves as well.................................
I guess just acknowledge the annoyance as best we can to others.......I do apologise for reacting so defensively.........and regret what has happened.....AND....I understand your reaction to its fullest..............Your awesome diesel and will always in my book...............mabey let me say it once more like this.......................Many others in here have forgiven me many times for my outbursts....LEO too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......Leo is really a top bloke and if he can forgive and make allowances for some of the outrageous mouthing off I have done in this forum, then so too should his emotions be given such considerations..............
But don’t get me wrong.................I’m right by your side.........consider my with one arm around Leo, and another around you.......

COME ON ... it is possible ... just consider some of what I have "tried" to say .... it will make you feel much better letting some of this go ... I bet you'll even start sounding better at your next gig..............

Often I get cuaght up on such things...which is why I am so quick to resolve them when I cool down ... regardless of damage done.... always keep your door open.......


Moving On...
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Sadgirl
Super Member (250+ posts)

847 Posts
Gratitude: 215
Very caring

Posted - 02/08/2012 :  01:51:17  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Great Response Davekyn

I would look forward to seeing you back after you move. Moving is such tiring work, I do not envy you, I have lived at my same home for 20 years, that's how much I hate change!
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lynn2150
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)

21329 Posts
Gratitude: 2146
Very caringVery wiseVery funnyVery honestI agree

Posted - 02/08/2012 :  12:15:12  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Hope you're not gone long Dave.

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lynn2150
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)

21329 Posts
Gratitude: 2146
Very caringVery wiseVery funnyVery honestI agree

Posted - 02/08/2012 :  12:23:05  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Just me again,
I can't handle Social either,
I'm a high emotion type, and can't be am not all happy go lucky.

I now will visit blogs, and vent in the BP community.

If BP turns all sweet and light, I will have to find another Mental Health Community.

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Davekyn
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

2412 Posts
Gratitude: 166

Posted - 02/08/2012 :  12:33:17  Show Profile  Visit Davekyn's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Thanks Sadgirl, Chelle & Diesel ....

I will most likely be still poping in here:
What I was saying about not being able to pop in, was more in reference to everyone else's threads for now........I still may pop into my own to record what is going on in my life "as quickly, but as flowing as I can"

I don't mean to appear selfish, but am aware it could sound that way...which is why I was trying to say something about it earlier...I am just very tired with everything going on at home and its all caught up with me very fast...I think some elements of depression are setting in again...............I will try to get around to all my friends latter...because I don't want to loose any respect and know it takes effort to foster such friendships...I understand this....So it is all the more I appreciate anyone that makes the time to pop in on me...
__________________________________________________________________

My mind is like mush at the moment....and I like this space for me that has now been made....I think I really needed it.
___________________________________________

Procrastination...I have been suffering it bad of late. I just feel devoid of emotion at times as I just stand in a daydream state wondering what to do next...then I will come up with an idea that really does nothing regarding my must do list. I have an idea of what must be done....but then it feels like such a chore to even stand up.

I am starting to wonder if my broken nose is disabling my sleep in some way ... But I don't remember tossing and turning??? ... I do however wake up "extremely" tired ... light headed ... that feeling you get when you don't seem to have enough oxygen or did not get enough ............. I know I could go to the doctor, but sick to death of the Dismissive attitude I always cop ... it could just be pure depression, but I am not ruling anything out ... The stomach acid has been playing havoc on my system as well ... this has flared up my Esophagitis causing me to gag when I bend over...

Our mental state plays so much on our health ... and in turn our physical state impacts the mental..............I feel so much for those not able anymore and now understand how it is that we can decline so fast and go down the hill with no chance of return.

BUT............despite the momuntous effort is feels with this new move..........I feel my job, as shot as it was......did come at a time is was suppose to. Just as did this never ending house move.

My ancestors... the Jews ...have never really settled...always on the Move...its in my blood I guess ... just like all that pent up anxiety ... arrrrr it's written God still Loves em .............Not to worry....just accept it and move on.

Please Lordy Lord ............. Help me remove my fencing today and may I get enough to please the Boss at home I know that I love that one.....things are a bit tough there at times....I do so miss the love and passion we both had before this world enforced itself on us so hard and so fast........arrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh..........

Learning to live without nothing really is the secret.....I do so hope I can master that art. It really is amazing how the world has changed............and I wonder at times....how many people give that thought up to "Oh every generation thinks the same" .... I actually think that thought pattern is the cop out as apposed to just seeing how much we have changed as a society over the years..........

Oh well..........the only thing I need to change for now....is my thinking pattern.......

lets see if I can put in a huge day.........
Take care and may your day be fruitful I wish for myself.

Moving On...
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Sadgirl
Super Member (250+ posts)

847 Posts
Gratitude: 215
Very caring

Posted - 02/08/2012 :  13:39:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Reply to Topic
Davykn

I will catch you here untill your life settles down. I wrote you in my blog but will repeat it here....
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