I have had panic attacks since I was 13. I would get them a couple of times a year. They became increasingly worse the older I got! As I got into my 40's they became unbearable. My husband didn't understand what the hell I was going through. He thought I was going just crazy. I sure felt I was going crazy when I was experiencing an attack.
It got to the point where I would awake in the middle of the night in severe panic attack mode. I was so freaked out. I would have to get out of the house immediately and walk the streets. I would make all sorts of commotion trying to get the dog on her leash to take her with me for protection and subsequently would awaken everyone in the household. Everyone just got mad at me for waking them up. Sometimes I would just pace around my dining room table a million X's! It just got out of control.
My biggest fear was, when would the next attack come?! The fear started controling my every waking moment! I had to get some help. I went to my family doctor who put me on Clonazepam, a mild sedative! It helped to certain degree and did give me some relief. I was still getting my panic attacks but felt a little less fearful knowing that I could depend on my meds. Well it went from bad to hellish. I soon started experiencing claustraphobia along with the panic attacks. I started having major anxiety just getting in the shower behind the curtain. The claustraphobic anxiety combined with a panic attack was sheet terror for me! I would even get out of the shower with shampoo in my hair. I literally had to force myself back in the shower and get the shampoo out as quickly as I could and get the hell out of there. My showers took in total about 3 minutes. Before and after every shower became my worst nightmare. I couldn't take a shower everyday. The anxiety was to intense. I had to shower every other day. Just the crazy, fearful anticipation itself was insane I knew I wasn't in any danger but I couldn't rationalize this in my head! I started to experience this whole scenerio when I went out for dinner. Being confined to a dining chair for a couple of hours without being able to get up was hellish. I felt trapped!! I wanted to end this all and just be dead!
I couldn't take it anymore! I went back to my GP and he recommended that I go to see a pyschologist at the hospital. I went and he put me through a whole barrage of questions. He diagnosed me with an acute anxiety disorder, chronic mild depression with a touch of OC. He put me on Cipralex as a consequence of my diagnosis. I was really hesitant to go on this stuff. He recommended my dosage of 5mg/day to be taken at supper which I did. It gave me a headache for the first week or so. My appetite waned. It changed my appetite. I ate less and only if I was experiencing hunger pains. I did lose about 10 lbs. I was skinny to begin with and this drug even made me skinnier. I still haven't gained any weight back yet but am maintaining with the help of some extra snacks of calorically dense foods.
It has been a little over 2 months now since I first started this medication and it's absolutely a wonder drug for me so far. The panic attacks are almost non-existent. I still have a problem going to restaurants to eat and hate the fact of being confined to a chair. When I go see my pdoc I will tell him about this.
Honestly for me this drug has help me to cope. It has helped me to become my old self, well almost. I'm so relieved. Help couldn't arrived any sooner. I really bottomed out and just could think of so many ways of ending my life. Help couldn't of came any sooner. I'm so grateful to have some what of a life back.
I just want to be happy and healthy. Nothing more, nothing less!
This is so good to hear. My first real panic attack happened a year ago and ever since they've been horrible. I find myself in the same situations, having to get out of the house feeling like I can't breathe, panicking behind shower curtains, waking up so terrified...it's horrible... I can't wait till it's over... Sometimes even just reading about panic attacks makes me have one :/
I forgot to include in there my deep seated fear of drinking from a glass. It sounds really unusual but it is what it is! I can only drink from cans or bottles. Just looking at a full glass of water used to freak me out. The fear is somewhat less with the meds but nevertheless it's still there.
I also can't watch movies that are about diving in the ocean. On some occasions I can but that is very rare! I either switch the channel or go do something else to take my mind off of it.
I just want to be happy and healthy. Nothing more, nothing less!
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Meds for panic attacks!
Posted - 10/14/2011 : 23:18:23
