How do you handle being a wife and mother, when there's nothing from you to give? Don't you get tired of being ill or in the darkness most of the time? Does anybody get tired of taking so many drugs and still being under the dark cloud? How much can my shrink continue to increase or change doses of my meds? How many times do i have to be hospitalized?.. I have 3 kids and a husband and a marriage in name only. My depression after 3 yrs is no better, im losing grip and am tired of fighting. Where does it end? - or do you end it yourself?... Plzz help me.. give me something to hang on to.................
I've never been a mom but I've been a wife. My ex-husband was widowed when I met him. HIs first wife had killed herself. No one could understand how she could leave behind a beautiful 16-year-old daughter. Of course that was not her desire! I was diagnosed with major depression 6 months after marrying him. I am better off without him emotionally (as he ridiculed me and even tried to tell me to quit taking a low-thyroid medication) but financially his support enabled me to have better treatment for depression. Right now I have no help with it. I pay out of pocket for meds and can't afford all I should be taking. I get no counseling or psychotherapy although I need it. So, things could be worse for you. But that's not to say you don't have real problems. Things could be a lot worse for me, too. Your doctor can change your meds as often as you need it. Think of each change as an opportunity for improvement. You deserve it, and that's what they're getting paid for so don't worry about them. Just pay attention to whether your treatment effort seems effective so you can feel confident if you decide the change needed is in doctors or therapists. And consider that your thinking is not accurate under these conditions. What you feel as far as suicidal thoughts is not real. It is the illness. Step out of line with your illness' symptoms, instead of out of line with real life. Let those who are close enough to you to help you know how you feel. If they can't or won't help, keep looking, confessing and trying. I was amazed how many of my friends were on medication or were willing to listen and offer encouragement once I came out with it. I found out that some people I thought were relatively happy were having a terrible time. Just my advice as another person with depression. It seems strange to me, never having been in a chat room, to pour out such thoughts and feelings to a stranger, but as it turns out we have something in common with millions of people! Best wishes to you every day.
what do i do???
Posted - 04/16/2006 : 09:02:07
