| leruok
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2674 Posts
Gratitude: 1709
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 Posted - 01/01/2011 : 23:07:30
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scared70,
Hello. How are you doing?
I wanted to tell you that I understand.
This illness is very difficult to live with.
It makes us different in ways that
are hard to live with...there's no doubt about that.
And yes, it can be so painful to live with.
But you know, when we're caught up in it, we don't see
things, or feel things the way other people do.
Sometimes, in desperation, all we can think of
is escape.
But I don't think it's selfish of others to block
our efforts....I think that is love and concern.
Obviously, you have people in your life that
love and care about you.
You may not feel that now, but that doesn't mean it's not
true.
When we are that unwell, then what we are doing...may not
be working. Perhaps other meds, or perhaps, we
need to reach out...even when we don't feel like it.
I do understand  .
Just don't give up, despite the pain.
And don't be afraid to reach out here, scared.
If you don't mind my asking, are you on medications now?
I don't mean to pry...I'm only concerned for
you, as I'm others are too.
I hope your well tonight.
Post back any old time.
From someone who's been in that boat .
Linda |
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| leruok
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2674 Posts
Gratitude: 1709
|
Posted - 02/04/2011 : 22:02:51
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Chris,
It's good to hear from you.
I apologize for not writing sooner. I've been struggling
with this illness too.
Yes, I truely understand how desolate this illness
can make a person feel.
I'm so sorry that you are still struggling,
and that the lithium stopped
working.
There was a period of time, when I thought about
suicide everyday...like you.
And like you, I was pained and afraid. It seemed
I had no way out, and could find
no relief.
And like you, I knew that God was there, watching.
I knew that despite how it all looked
to me at the time, that if I kept trying different
meds, and different doctors, something
would eventually change, and it did.
I know I'll never be what I used to be, but
that's OK. It's taking me awhile to
figure out how to live my life around this illness.
But it's gotten better, and for that
I'm thankful. I wish this for you too.
I would encourage you to go to your doctor
and try different medications.
There are many different kinds of course.
After all, what do you have to lose?
For some reason, the chemical imbalance in our brains
can create such fear. I know that feeling
well Chris. I'm certain, that with the right meds, you
can get relief from the fear .
My heart goes out to you Chris.
Just remember, that circumstances change in life, we
change.
So don't give up.
I can't imagine how terrifying it was in that hospital.
Now if you need to go back, isn't there
another hospital you can go to?
I hope you don't ever have to, but sometimes
we need to, to stay safe.
I'm glad to hear that your exercising, and hope
that as you resume your taekwondo, that your
spirits will begin to lift.
Chris, you can talk here, or anywhere at MT that you
choose to.
Whatever your comfortable with.
Just remember, your not alone. There are millions of us
that live with this illness.
Be well until your next post.
From your American bipolar MT friend .
Lots of love.
Linda |
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| leruok
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2674 Posts
Gratitude: 1709
|
Posted - 02/07/2011 : 21:23:26
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Chris..I'm wondering how you are doing.
I think about you, and wonder what you are going
through...how your days are.
I hope that when I imagine you getting better, and
feeling stronger, that I am right.
Please write anytime you feel like
it. I would be honored to hear from you.
You are in my thoughts, as I wish the best
of circumstances for you daily .
Linda |
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Sad Because my attempts always seem to fail!
