i refused therapy, medications everything for 7 years -
can I ask you your reasons?? I think it's great that you've even accessed this forum - I hope you can find some support here and have some good discussions.
I had two huge huge reasons why I refused any treatment:
1. It was my opinion that antidepressants were WAY over prescribed, that it was the new "fad" to be depressed. I refused to buy into it and become just another "one of them". It took me years of cutting myself, feeling suicidal, and eventually a suicide attempt to convince me that even though antidepressants are overprescribed doesn't mean that I don't need them. I also never wanted to be the person that went around saying "My shrink says..." because that seemed to be a fad as well. Once again... just because some people go to a psychiatrist or therapist for reasons that maybe seem trivial, doesn't mean that I don't need the support of one. My psychiatrist knows I'm very skeptical of being psychologically analyzed... I've taken too many courses in it - I figure that if I know what they are thinking about me then it won't work on me... I'd tell them what they want to hear to think i'm getting better and then I'd be discharged and still depressed. I stated this right up front at my first session so we're on the same page. She doesn't try to psychoanalyze me.... I do most of the talking, and really I come to my own conclusions after bouncing ideas off of her.
2. My second reason for not wanting to ever get treatment was a giant fear of losing myself. Depression has been such a huge part of my life that I don't know who I am without it. I feel that my friends are around because they are afraid of what would happen if they weren't and then they'd feel guilty. I think everyone wants a twisted screwed up friend - it makes for good stories. I'm scared of what "I" look like without depression. I still struggle with this part......
Anyways, I don't want to convince you to go to therapy because I understand there are many different reasons why people don't want to go. But I would still love to continue discussions with you around this topic and hear your ideas. You're not alone.
I was once on meds. I think about 4 years ago for about 2 months maybe longer. I can recall that I was much better with them socially compared to now without them.
I was getting hit with side effects that frightened me a bit so I stopped taking them.
Also I have a paranoid personailty..i'm just gonna leave that there.
I'm actually having thoughts about tring them again. Frankly I'm again getting tired of being anti-social. The only way I can comfortely socialize is while drunk. Even online in a forum. Unfortunely this leads to rambling, too much honesty anoyonance and more.
These thoughts of going back to meds leads to another thought. I have a drinking problem that is going to conflict. And i'm not ready or willing to try and stop. It tastes too good, damn good! So right now even with the desire to try therpy/meds again I will not because of this. My own fault.
It's good that you have friends. I've either abanonded my friends or have been abandoned, likely both. It's so hard to make new friends that I don't even try. I appear totally stuck up or better then everyone. Obvious to me not the case.
I may not be alone but where i'm at, I'm completely alone. I've made sure of this.
It doesn't matter though.
Sadly I think anything I have to say it better off heard by a theripist.
Thanks for replying - Have you tried to talk to a therapist/doctor about trying therapy/medications without giving up alcohol?? I can understand the feeling of not wanting to be social unless you are drinking - I call it liquid confidence. I used to find it very hard to meet new people or socialize with new people without having a few drinks first - and sometimes that really backfired on me as well - People I'd met when I was drunk would only call me up to go party - I felt that everyone liked "drunk" me, and no one cared for the real me. I also got pretty heavy into cocaine for over a year, partly for the same reason. It took a very low point in my life to finally realize that I needed help and was ready to accept help. But having been there, and having worked through some (certainly not all) of my issues, I can tell you that the other side is much brighter. It is possible to feel good about yourself, to try and socialize without being completely wasted - I won't lie, I still love to drink when I go out and there's new people around. I am on medications and luckily I don't have too much of an adverse reaction mixing the antidepressant and alcohol. When I first started on medications I had a lot of side effects as well - nausea, headaches etc. but they did go away. 2 months isn't a long time to see the benefits of the medication - I had to increase my dose a few times before I finally started feeling better. But it's worth it to wait. I like 's suggestion of trying the non-alcoholic beer. For me around other people, sometimes just holding the drink is what relieves a lot of the anxiety. If you're still looking for the buzz try alternating between alcoholic and non-alcoholic (beer or hard alcohol or whatever, and then water, or pop, or non-alcoholic beer). This way maybe you won't get as drunk, i.e. not as "stuck up or better than everyone". Think it over. Try writing something on here when you're sober. Even if it's "Hi. It's sunny here today. I had pizza for dinner." Baby steps. No one here is judging you. I'd like to hear more from you.
I used to be an alcoholic, and started meds while I was still drinking. There are some contraindicated but things like the SSRI antidepressants (Prozac, Celexa, Lexapro, etc.) are reasonably safe to mix with alcohol, if you're otherwise healthy. It's not ideal, obviously, since alcohol is a depressant. It's an uphill battle. But it did help with my depression. Eventually I decided to quit drinking, did harm reduction, and therapy, and it all helped. But don't let the excuse of alcoholism stop you from making strides you are able to while you make the transition.
Sounds like you know that your avoidance is keeping you from getting help while you also say meds would help you overcome that. Hard choices. I know it's not easy. All the best.
I am new to this site and I was wondering if someone could please help me try to help my 19 year old daughter. She has been depressed/suicidal for almost 3 years. She has been hospitalized twice and told the doctors what they wanted to hear to let her out. She has cut herself and now burns herself. She is in her junior year at college and lives locally but I hardly ever see her. She plays a sport but her team is doing poorly due to injuries and she is depressed about that as well because she plays in a key position. Her grades are falling and she is missing classes. I don't know what to do. I had to be put on medication because I can't help her and I felt totally helpless watching her slowly want to die. She tried Lexapro for a week and didn't see results and stopped taking it. I reassured her it takes longer to get into your system but she doesn't care. She self-medicates with junk for every ailment. She is losing friends and pushing her teammates and coaches away. Can anyone help me with some advice before I lose her? Thank you so much.
Your caring and loving attitude toward your daughter is wonderful. As you know, parents are many times the last place teens look for help. Hang in there. I too tried Lexapro for more than several weeks and it had all of the effectiveness of a sugar pill. Cymbalta had some impact, but only on my BM's, not my mood. I found great luck with Remeron (Mirtazipine). I have been on this med for three months now with much improvement in my mood and appetite. This med also helps with sleep if that is a problem your daughter also experiences. The continuation of the cutting is very concerning, however. Keep suggesting in the gentlest and lovingest way possible that your daughter seek professional help. Good Luck.
I think that refusing therapy for me is that I do not want to talk to strangers about what is bothering me. I do well on my medication and do not need to talk to anyone about what is going on in my life. Maybe it is the fear of the notes that the person keeps on you that no one is ever allowed to see the doctor's personal notes, who knows what that person is really thinking about you, maybe a little. The medication that I take for anxiety and depression allow me to function normally throughout the day. The major reason that I am on medication is that I have a hard time coping with being on the outside meaning that I served 20 years in the Marine Corps and lived a structured life where everything was organized and there was a time and place for everything, once I retired civilian life was not the same and it is hard for me to take that things and people are so different on the outside and I cannot cope with this and the medication that I take allows me to function in the civilian world without losing my mind.
I don't have anything against therapy. It's just that my experience with it is uniformly BAD.
I first tried a mental health clinic in my hometown. The first therapist made me feel better because he seemed to care. But he tried to get me to draw a picture, but I didn't feel like drawing. I suppose he was tried to do a projective test. Soon he left though, and I got therapists who just wanted me to talk over and over. I told them I was depressed because I didn't know how to find a job, and because of that I had no self-confidence. They told me they'd set me up with "Vocational Rehabilitation". They would help me to get a job and that would help my self-esteem. HA! What a joke! At VR, their idea of "help" was to just say, "OK go find a job!" I told them I couldn't find a job because I had no self-confidence, and they said that wasn't their problem; MEntal Health was supposed to be helping me with that! The both finally dropped me because I wasn't making any progress.
Then I went to the VA hospital. The first therapist there looked to be about 22 years old. How is she supposed to understand what it's like to have no self-confidence? I talked and I talked about how all my life nothing had ever worked out until I just couldn't take it anymore, but I might as well have been speaking Klingon! She kept suggesting I try to join clubs! But because of my depression I told her I couldn't think of anything I was particularly interested in anymore. One day I accidentally got a peek at what she had written on my record -- "actively resists all suggestions". The next therapist had a PhD. She asked THE EXACT SAME questions every session, asking basically how I felt about things! I hated talking about how i felt because it only made me feel worse! But she never had any practical advice. She apparently thought that just talking about it was going to magically cure me! Basically therapy is a complete waste of time in my experience. I wish somebody COULD help me.
Refusing Therapy
Posted - 03/03/2006 : 21:45:16
Unfortunely this leads to rambling, too much honesty anoyonance and more.
