i tell ya, i drank like well i drank to live for 15 years and for the last 4 years relasped three times now i'm coming up on a year first time november. here's the thing. while drinking i hated everyone! i hated myself most of all! everyone was against me i believed and i just thought i was a victim in life! well, the last four years of sobering up evertime i got clean i felt too much and it hurt so bad! so i drank. i finally realized i have to go through my feelings and i know they'll hurt but i can't drink because my meds won't work that kept me sober this year. now the pain is gone and i'm sober because alcohol just sucks period. everyone was so afraid of me in AA they were like side staring at me no one said hello to me i know it's because i had my face of hatred on. i still get shunned but sometimes i have the courage to say hello first and they say hi back. i hate being judged by others who can't see inside me and know how much pain i'm in, now i swear i rely on God, he can see in here and he cares. peace.
alcohol made me mad!
Posted - 10/11/2010 : 04:41:38
