I am in a relationship with a wonderful man, and I have Borderline Personality. I have tried so many types of therapy, and have recently started DBT and have workbooks. But I am ruining the relationship. I often lash out if I feel unloved, which is frequently. I know he loves me, but when I get in those moods, my mind does everything to convince myself that he doesn't love me and will leave me. This makes me get angry at tiny things and blow up.
For example, right now is his birthday party and I am in my room writing this because I am afraid he doesn't love me because he isn't paying enough attention to me.
It is especially difficult because we are both in grad school and have jobs, which means there are times when we barely see each other. When this happens, it is SO hard for me to feel loved and be happy. I freak out about everything. I need help. Any advice?
hi again. sorry. im just still having a bad night.
it is hard to fight the feeling to hurt yourself. i used to cut, and was able to stop with help. but lately i have been getting the urge and literally have to listen to music with headphones just to drown out the thoughts. i was coping before i got into a relationship and now i have all these recurring fears and destructive thoughts and i can't stop them. i feel like im going insane. i also have issues communicating with my partner. its just so overwhelming most of the time.
jb brock go to where its says members in a little gold box click on it one of our members jb morris i believe also has borderline. maybe you can learn from him.
he is a really nice man.
i love everyone red,white,blue and every other frequency and spectrum to.
I'm okay. I have had anxiety attacks lately, too. My most recent was last night, but my partner was very supportive and comforting during it. It was nice to have someone there. Today, I am trying to remain positive. I'm scared, but hopeful because I was finally able to make an appt. at a clinic near my house for anxiety medication. The hardest parts are my overwhelming and destructive thoughts that lead me to have the attacks.
I am sure BPD is a frequent cause of divorce, and divorce is bad for everybody, economically, and especially emotionally for any children of the marriage. Therefore it deserves more research. A lifetime of observation reaches the following conclusions: The incidence of BPD seems to be very much higher in women, but maybe only because aggression and drunken fighting does not seem so out-of-place in men. The associated paranoia/anxiety attacks also seem to be closely related to the menstrual cycle. I have measured 27.6 days. The moon's period is 27.3 days. This deserves more research. Is that cycle also there in men? Am I right in thinking that the problems subside after menopause, but come back if hormone replacement therapy is taken? This should be looked at. Moreover, a lifetime's observation clearly suggests a geographical origin. If we had the ability to accurately trace family trees a few centuries back, I suspect we would trace it to a single individual from a specific part of Northern Europe. My mother and grandmother knew this from as early as 1890, and I can just confirm by my lifetime of observation that they seem to be right. This suggests that it will be possible to locate the gene or gene combination responsible. Up till 1974, believe it or not, high-school principals in Sweden had the right to designate one child (usually female) per year-class for sterilization. Nazi-sounding though this may be, it may have been beneficial to the country as a whole.
BPD sufferers often self-medicate with alcohol, which exacerbates the problem, and it is the difficult to know whether alcohol abuse was the cause or the effect; they go hand-in-hand.
Periods of low serotonin are also involved. Any excitement such as the initial stages of alcohol intoxication, sex or powerful entertainment relieves the symtoms, as it increases serotonin levels. "Humor them", they used to say, and it works to a degree.
This is an awful illness for the victims - the family of the sufferer.
borderline and need help
Posted - 10/02/2009 : 21:54:38
