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thinking
Starting Member

3 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2008 : 02:09:20

I do not think that I am depressed, but there is no "community" that seems to fit. I have had anxiety attacks in the past, but that is not why I am writing.

I have this weird thing that I do. I think of something bad that could happen and play it out in my mind over and over. It usually has to do with one of my kids and I run it through my mind like a movie. I can even get very upset and cry or get scared. I have done this for years. I hate it. But I am also kind of superstitious, for a lack of a better word, that if I don't think of the most awful things that can happen, then they will happen.

I'd like to stop doing this. I wonder if I stop if my life might improve. But then again, I'm afraid if I do stop something bad will happen. Oh, and I can't sleep at night. Luckily I have a job that allows me to be able to sleep late, but then half the day is gone. I do this thinking at night when I'm trying to go to sleep and when I wake up and I am lying there half awake and half asleep. And strangely, I feel somehow comfortable doing this kind of thinking -- more so than if I don't do it.

shades_of_nadia
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

2322 Posts
Gratitude: 362
Very caring

Posted - 10/22/2008 : 05:50:38

well, good news is that if you get you're sleep pattern more stabilised, these thoughts seem to go on holiday too...lol
it sounds like a form of obsessive compulsive thinking, and is actually nothing more ominous than a bad habit.
i used to have this form of thought as well, but you have to replace them with good thoughts.
try to get some herbal sleep remedies (make sure they don't interfere with any other medications)and use them for a few nights until you are in a normal sleeping pattern, though it might still happen sometimes, i know it does to me,, luckily i have turned them into good kind of fantasies, like winning the lotto or something you know...
maybe you can check out some info on ocd/b (obsessive compulsive disorder/behaviour
do you have any other instances when you have to follow a certain thought or wash hands compulsively to keep bad thoughts at bay, etc...?

thinking
Starting Member

3 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2008 : 06:12:38

Hello! Yes, I've always done some sort of counting since I was a kid or if I do something with one part of my body in one direction I have to do the same with the opposite side or in the other direction. I remember doing that a lot with rolling my eyes as a kid. The counting is usually to certain numbers, I'm suspicious of some numbers like they might be bad. I also use to tap, but what I was really doing was counting. This stuff does increase when I am under stress.

shades_of_nadia
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

2322 Posts
Gratitude: 362
Very caring

Posted - 10/22/2008 : 08:42:07

http://psychcentral.com/ocdquiz.htm

they have a quizz you can take to find out if you're ocd,, sounds like it might help you..

my husband has tourettes, so i know quite a bit about the condition, because obsessive compulsive behaviours are part of tourettes, though having ocd doesn't give you tourettes,,lol,,
but yeah, have you never been to a doctor,, you might only have it very mild, see if it doesn't interfere with your day to day duties then off course it isn't something you would run to the pshycologist with,lol..

i have a few ocb myself, luckily its quite mild..like eliminating each colour jelly tots before moving on to eat the rest, etc...but i do know what you r talking about,,hope this helped!

thinking
Starting Member

3 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2008 : 12:56:15

Thank you, I will check out this link. OCD was mentioned to me when went to a therapist about anxiety years ago, but I guess I didn't think it had anything to do with the nighttime thinking. I use to do things like check and recheck the door or the stove. I also kind of forgot about it. LOL

Thanks for your help!

shades_of_nadia
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)

2322 Posts
Gratitude: 362
Very caring

Posted - 10/23/2008 : 03:09:30

my pleasure dearie,, it definitely sounds like ocd to me,, have you ever experienced any kind of tic with that?
a tic is an involuntary muscle spasm, or a vocal outburst,, for lack of a better word...
if you have had tics especially in childhood, even if you seem to have outgrown them, you might want to read up on tourettes syndrome..
my husband has it, and still tics when he's nervous/tired/excited and i stil have to live with him moving the entire house around every three months or so...lol!

and you can stop worrying dear, with the right treatment, you will be absolutely fine in a little while!