My father said something long time ago, that I took serioulsy, that "I have to sacrifice my happiness", because i was going to marry an american and he was afraid that he would lose his job (we lived in a communist country). I did get married, but then I felt guilty and came back. And now he has his wife, his job and his house and I don't. And then, when my daughter was born, he said that this is how god punishes people, that he hated jews all his life and now he has a jewish granddaughter. And I thought he would be happy for me! This is actually how I got sick. I got depressed first and then paranoid and saw the devil, and now if he mentions something about me coming back "home", I don't know how I will react. I already "felt" demons flying this morning, I didn't see them outside my brain, but my mind makes these pictures that are really disturbing. That's why I am afraid.
hi yulia it sounds like a very interesting post, its late now and i need to take my meds and sleep. but i will try to remember to come back to this post.
good night and take care you are a very nice person..
i would like to know more about life in a communist country how does it differ from the us of 1976?
father is coming
Posted - 09/14/2008 : 20:28:12
