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emmsters (inactive)
New Member
94 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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 Posted - 10/01/2005 : 00:22:12
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I'am a very part time stepmom which isn't going well and hasn't go well for almost 3 years now. My husband and i married this June 05. He has two kids a 6yr old boy and a 4yr old girl. I have most of my problems with the boy. He has told me on many occasions that he hates me and that he hates it here because of me and that he wishes that i were dead. I know he hates it here because in this house hold we have rules unlike him mother who lets them run wild. I already have a depression issue and anxiety attacks so dealing with his **** really gets to me and there for I have to leave the house because i get my anxiety attacks. I feel like im the child and hes this ass hole of man no offence to anymale in here.
I do think that he has ADD,ADHD, and anger problems. He hite his sister all the time and says very vocal obsene things too her which no child at his age should ever be saying. He likes to hurt things like animals my dog pull his hair. And my cats will not go near him. He once tried to drowned my sisters cat. But i did not let him get away from that. I swatted his ass and told him to never touch another animal again. Im an animal lover parcial to cats, my day and my horse. anyway if anyone could please give me some advice on this huge ordeal im in I would appreciate it.
Thank you and takecare
Em  |
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| Aprilia
Starting Member
2 Posts |
Posted - 10/28/2005 : 23:27:21
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Hi Em
I think the most important thing is to take a step back and realise that you are not his parent and that your husband and his Ex need to be dealing with these behavioural issues. I understand that you are stressed out by this behaviour but don't put it on yourself to solve, his parents need to take responsibility. You should be able to be a friend and role model to this child and let his parents do the parenting. He should show you respect and it is up to his father and mother to ensure that he does this.
Children normally only repeat things that they have heard, which makes me wonder what he has been exposed to when he says things like I hate you and I wish you were dead. He obviously has issues controlling his behaviour and espec his anger. Perhaps he needs counselling, and you all should prob think about family counselling so that he can see that you are his friend and that you care about him. He prob feels confused and angry at the whole stiuation and you are just the punching bag, along with the animals.
I hope things get better for you really soon as this can be a really difficult thing for both you and your partner to endure.
Take care |
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| freak
Starting Member
6 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 02:35:27
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Well,I do not know if this will help,you but I have a good idea of how you feel.I have the stepdaughter from hell.I know that sounds terrible,but that is what it feels like sometimes.Between my husband and I we have 5 girls,3 are his 1 is mine,and one is ours.Mine lives with her father,unfortunetly,she is 13,now, but i had her the first 9 years.My husbands 3 girls are all sisters from the same mom,I guess he and his oldest were closer,I met him when she was 5 and she is now 11.She came to live with us about a year and a half ago,her mom said she coudn't handle her.I was pregnant at the time,with our baby who is 10 mths.I kept telling myself it must just be because I am pregnant and moody.Well ,I am not pregant anymore and she still is driving me mad.Sometimes I feel like she is taking away my happiness with my new daughter,because there is always something she is doing wrong.I also believe that she has adhd,we are in the process of having her diagnosed now.When she came to live with us she laft behind 2 sisters,and her mom,and I now she misses them but she can't keep using that for an exuse for her behavior.She gets in troube at school,her grades are bad,She has stolen money from us,stolen money from my daughter who vists us everyother weekend,lies,talk back to us,mostly me but she does it to her dad too,most the time it is a huge ordeal just to get her to do what she is told repeatedly,she gets in to everything,she has been told so many times if it is not yours keep your hands off of it,she has lost or broken stuff of mine and my daughters,she just doesn't seem to have any regard for other peoples stuff or feelings.Most of my days are filled with argument after argument,and I also do not no what to do.Does your husband usually make exuses for your stepsons behavior,or does he agree with you.My husband agrees with me and that is good if he was making exuses for her and letting her get away with stuff she shouldn't I don't think I could handle it at all. I also have been dealing with anxiety and depresion for years. Some days I wake up with a good feeling (not often)and in a matter of minutes it is ruined,for something she does or says.She is just so disrespectful.Anyways,everynight when I go to bed I tell myself,tommorrow you are going to be more patient,understanding,you know just relax and don't let things get me so mad.It doesn't usually work,so I don't have any advice that I know works because I havn't figured it out yet,but I hope it helped a little to hear my similar story.Hope to hear from you. |
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stepmom
