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Mood Disorder Community
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Cronoss
Starting Member
1 Posts Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 06/05/2008 : 16:31:17
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I've been on and off depressed my entire life but the past few months have been atrocious. I lost my job in the middle of April and have barely tried to find a new one since. I jerked around in college and got crap degree so I convince myself I can't find another job and don't even try. I look into going back to school but my sub-mediocre BS and GPA mean I'll have to work for probably 3 years to get anything accomplished. I'm 24 already and feel like I can't put my life on hold for another 3 years.
Each day I continue doing nothing is another reason to hate myself. I constantly feel like the weight of 24 years of failure is placed on my shoulders 24/7. I've had problems making friends and relationships all my life so I have only a handful of family members to turn to during this time and most of them are concerned about me being a financial burden on them if this continues. They say, "you have no choice" or "snap out of it", which does absolutely nothing for me. I hate myself for not having friends and being too shy or lazy to get some. I hate myself for so many reasons. I feel like I've wasted or am wasting my life and I'm only proving it to myself in my current situation. It's like my worst dream come true but I never wake up from it.
It's been about 2 months now, with me doing completely nothing. Suicidal thoughts are starting to creep into my mind, but I doubt I'd ever have the balls, or want to truly kill myself (probably because I'm afraid to die). I see no end to this in sight and the situation will only get worse the longer it goes on.
Where do I possibly begin to pull myself out of this mess that is my life. I feel like I'm losing my mind. |
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Fruitcup (inactive)
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
2298 Posts Gratitude: 604
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Posted - 06/05/2008 : 23:30:42
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Hi Cronoss
Welcome to My Therapy...
Sorry to hear your finding yourself where you don't want to be at the moment.You say that you have been depressed all your life...have you ever for been treated for depression?
You do sound like you are being very hard on your self....you are 24....many of us will tell you how young you are and how 3 more years of study would be a good investment at your age if that is what you want to do...you already have 1 degree...thats quite an achievement...losing your job has probably taken the shine off most things for you.
You are right...people don't understand depression so you have to turn off to their ignorance...thats the good thing about MyTherapy...we do understand...but we are'nt doctors.
My advice to pull yourself out of this would be to go and have a chat to your doctor in the first instance, you may be run down...you may need some therapy or medication to get you motivated again.What ever you need...apart from diet, sleep and exercise the good doctor will be sure to have some clever ideas.
Wishing you the best, Sue
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area24
Super Member (250+ posts)
253 Posts Gratitude: 47
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Hoppy
Super Member (250+ posts)
441 Posts Gratitude: 137
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Posted - 06/26/2008 : 05:26:41
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Hi Cronoss, welcome to My Therapy. I know you look around and see people your age into careers and making more money than you, it used to really make me mad when I was in my early to mid-twenties, and this is good because its important to feel like you are just like everyone else.
I graduated college with a 2.4, because I did way too partying and socializing, but I am going back to school to get a second B.S. in Paralegal Studies, and I am 39 years old, and if I can change my life, anyone can.
I hope you can tweak your meds to help you pull yourself up.
Sheri |
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BonC
Starting Member
5 Posts Gratitude: 4
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Posted - 12/13/2008 : 22:01:51
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Hi, Cronoss. I'm going through a similar period in my life. It really seemed to me that as I got older it would become easier to deal with the symptoms of depression, but that's not always the case. It really requires that you be willing to tackle the problem proactively however you can. I'm sorry about your recent difficulties, and hope that you can take a step forward. I'm trying to do the same. |
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jukiemama
Starting Member
1 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2009 : 08:27:11
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I know exactly how Cronoss feels. I too have been dealing with bouts of depression my whole life. Last year, I lost my Dad and Mother is terminally ill - no telling how long she'll be with us. Some days I'm fine with things and other days (like today) I feel like I'm not sure how much more I can handle. I've been to therapists who recommend seeing a psychiatrist, but I'm broke. Both my husband and I work, but in an effort to keep things from completely going to pot, I'm trying like hell not to incur more debt. My husband manages the money in our home and I can tell it creates a ton of stress for him to constantly be behind on bills. Making him more unhappy will only make things worse for me. Besides, my oldest daughter (17) is also dealing with depression, so I'm trying to use the resources we have to get treatment for her. I know I should follow thru and go see this shrink, but, at least in my mind, there is some shame associated with it. I know I'm hard to get along with at work - hate the boss and most days it's all I can do to stay the whole day. Obviously quitting is not an option right now, and really isn't the answer. I guess at this point, prayer and meditation are the only things that seem to help, but then I just feel like I'm spending too much time whining about it. God, I just wish I could feel better. I don't even feel like doing house work, so my home is a sty and who wants to have friends in with a house that dirty? It's kind of a horrible cycle. I should be the one helping my Mom, husband and kids and I feel helpless. I'm not suicidal, just so withdrawn from friends and family that it's becoming unbearable. This isn't me!! |
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tiendunn732
Starting Member
1 Posts |
Posted - 12/25/2009 : 11:37:41
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first of all, it is important tht u understand tht u r not the only one who is affected by the recession.. there are thousands of people all across the globe with many people at very good positions in top comps who lost their jobs.... keep your cool...i know its tough n life is not a bed of roses.... everyone wud ve been billgates i fit was so easy... what u need to do now?....be patient n calm, make friends, good habits, try to improve on existing skills and develop new ones, meet with people in same kind of situation...do part time if it wud help... job is not the only option..u may start anything(business) on your own... ...u ve made mistakes ...dont let them affect u or ur confidence but learn from them n do not repeat...there is a silver lining at the end of the tunnel...keep tht in mind and work ahead ....keep fighting..never give up!...wats the use if it comes easy...impossible is nothing!
http://www.cephalexin500mg.net/ |
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jerlin09
Starting Member
4 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2011 : 23:16:20
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If you're trying to beat depression or anxiety it helps if you stay away from all caffeine because the leaching out of minerals through the urine is kinda self defeating. Do not use w/antibiotics All the best
Drug Rehab |
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warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
|
warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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