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Mood Disorder Community
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angelsmom65
Starting Member
4 Posts
Gratitude: 5
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 Posted - 09/04/2005 : 13:50:57
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[blue]Hi, I am the mother of a bipolar child. She was first dx with just adhd, then afew years later at age 11 she was dx bipolar with adhd, and odd. The reason she was dx bipolar was because of her symptoms, and she would get very moody / aggressive when on stimulants. But yet the stimulants did help with her adhd symtpoms until the med would wear off in aprox 4 hrs. Sometimes I do question wether or not her DX is even correct. I don't like her being on meds, and wish she didn't have to be. But sometimes I feel like the meds are not even doing anything to help/improve her symptoms. For awhile I really felt like things were getting under control. Everything was going real well with her behavior. Then a disruption occured in our home which we were able to get a handle on but it effected us all, and more so her. Her outlet was to take all her anger out on me. Needless to say, she had every given right to be angry and hurt. We all did. Finley..I got it under control after a great length of time. But...she is displaying things that are totaly freaking me out. saying things that are wild. Hateful cruel things. She behaves in this matter if something sets her off, or if you just tell her no, or if she is tired. I spoke to her dad about whats coming out of her mouth, and he said, well she don't watch movies like that. Which she don't. were very careful about what she watches. So anyway.....I started getting it under control a tad. Not alot, but a tad. At the sametime I realized I was not being the clam and patiant person I had been. So..I have been trying to once again regain that. now....her grandma came to stay with us 5 days okay after having a minor out patiant surgery. I thought things would be okay. After all..she was to only stay with us for 1 day...2 days max. Instead it has been 5 days, and she hasn't mentioned leaving yet. I don't want to kick her out, but she is causeing a disruption with out daughter, and she knows this ! I homeschool, and all week it was a struggle to get my daughter to focus, and to even do school. We got it done but it wasn't easy. and my daughters goal chart is not going well sense she came here, which she was begaining to do wonderful on. I told her dad....here I was making headway, thinking I was getting her stable, and now this. ( it's his mom who is here ) and she is even showing disrespect for her Grandma. something I have never seen her display towards another adult..ever. She is on Buspar 10 mg two times aday . been on it about 2 weeks. Not sure what I think of that med yet. I sure see no improvemant anywhere with it...thats for sure. and risperdal is now at 1 1/2 mgs...a med that use to work, but don't seem to do much good either anymore. I don't want to try anything else, because we have tried other med's only for them to not work for her, and I get tired of the doc saying..lets try this, only to find it doesn't work. Depakote, and abilify both made her more hateful and aggressive. stratera did the same thing. welbutrin also.
I finley have a councler for her, and she will start therapy in two weeks. But she has said she isn't going. and said I can't make her go. I got a bad feeling I will have to trick her out of the house which I don't want to do. But she needs to see that the therapist is there to help her. She feels like nothing is anyones business.
I had hoped her Grandma ould leave our home today so things can start to get back to normal, but she sure isn't acting like it. I don't want to be rude and say look..you got to go. But at the same time, my daughters emostional well being is far more important then hurting her Grandmas feelings.  |
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| Shadow
Starting Member
3 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2005 : 13:10:15
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angelsmom,i think my daughter is bipolar. She is 3 yrs old. Her father was diagnosed with bipolar 1 with a schizo-psychotic disorder. Write if you,d like to talk.
Sharon Lawrence |
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| abelric
Starting Member
1 Posts |
Posted - 06/01/2006 : 23:47:37
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| Have you ever considered your daughter's problem to be . . . you? You readily admit that medication has had little to no effect, in fact, you mention that most medication has proven to be counterproductive. The one common theme you present your story with is an overprotective atmosphere fostered by your demand that someone else fix your daughter. You describe the majority of the angst she spills forth as being directed towards you. Take a look at what you have attempted so far, and perhaps boldly attempt something new - a new style of interaction with your daughter. It sounds as if she is craving limits and guidelines you will not, or (and this is more likely) can not set with your current parenting skills. Your daughter may refuse the therapy initially, which is fine. You should go even though she does not. Perhaps your answer is never to be found in a pill, but in change, and that is what therapy is ultimately about. |
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| jmhurley
Starting Member
2 Posts
Gratitude: 2
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Posted - 06/04/2006 : 12:34:52
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Dear angelsmom65, I am a single mom of an 11yr old son who has been diagnosed with adhd, bipolr disorder, and odd also. His father has bipolar dis. & I have a strong family history of mental illnesses(social anxiety, aspergers syndrome,depression, generalized anxiety etc.)My sister and I are both on meds that work for use but with me it took trying a few to find the right on. My son on the other hand has tried more than a dozen meds and has been to several different dr.'s & therapists. He is also in special ed classes(since 1st grade). He currently isn't on any meds because I have been down that road with him and it didn't work. Everyone responds differently to different treatments. When my son was only 3 I had every test possible done to find out what was wrong and there was no other explanation other than mental illness. I won't lie and say that it is easy to deal with because speaking from experience it isn't. I am currently working with a wonderful intensive in home therapist who understands what I am going through because of her own personal experience with her son. I am dealing with this as a single parent due to the strain it had on my 7 yr. marriage and the fact that my ex has bipolar disorder, add, and as it turns out is gay. The best advice that I can give you is to educate yourself about all types of mental disorders to get a better understanding of what may be going on with your daughter(as you know her better than any doctor does).I can't tell you to give up on meds like I did for my son because meds do work for several people such as myself. What has helped with my son is providing him with as much structure as possible,consitancy with a behavior plan and by all means try not to argue with your daughter because you are the parent and arguments lead to more anger and frustration. Try reading a book called The Bipolar Child, it may help. I honestly feel for you and your daughter because I know what it's like to be on both ends. It's not her fault and mental illnesses do not come from bad parenting. They are real diseases(I should know). But I would suggest giving your daughter a little space and allow her to make mistakes(that aren't jeopardizing her well being or others) and help her learn from them. And be supportive in a positive way and set realistic boundaries so she knows you care. Another thing that may help is to get her involved with some activities that she is interested in(especially anthing active) this helps release energy and stress.Good luck, I hope I have been of some help and if you need someone to talk to you can email me at jmh11576@yahoo.com |
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| simpleton
Starting Member
19 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 10/10/2006 : 02:03:57
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| Hi my son also is a bipolar patient. he is in his teens and its been 2.5yrs since he was diagnosed. He suffers from various behavioral disorders and gets depressive very often. HE is under a lot of stress becuase of his condition and takes so much of medications and frequent visits to his doctor. I am still fearful about his medications because he is a fragile person since childhood.You have to make sure your doctor knows about the conditions of your child, any health problems so that he can prescribe the right set of medication. |
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| CONNIE NIKEL
Starting Member
7 Posts
Gratitude: 1
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Posted - 02/06/2007 : 18:46:08
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Angel'smom and Kayla"smom,
I am so very sorry to hear about the pain you have gone through. I would like to make a suggestion or just a comment..... When one is Bipolar there are times when death looks much more desirable. Emotions come flushing through the limbic sytem and hit the forebrain, and wham there is no control, to put it simply. Then, along came doctors and scientist who dedicated their lives to help. The human brain is a pharmacy which provides most with the necessities of life, but when you have BD you lack some important neurotransmitters called serotonin and dopamine. Kayla'smom you are so right... meds have some very devastating side effects, but when you suffer from BD they may be the lesser of two evils. I am at the crossroad of whether or not I will allow my child to be on meds for BD or not. My husband is bipolar and he currently takes Risperdal, Lexapro and Buspar. The one thing I know is that since this combo our life is great. We may only have a few good quality years , but it is far better than many miserable and painful years. We will take our chances. God is great but life sucks. That philosophy is where my strength comes from... embrace it. The choice is yours, but bipolar never goes away and the best parenting may never be enough. I am a school teacher that has returned to school to get my Masters in Social Work .I do have experience and knowledge, my family councils with a psychologist and our records are reviewed by a psychiatrist about every 3-4 months or so, but I know nothing!! Research- it is all I do and I report it APA style. Still, I know nothing except, I love my son and my husband, and I will go to the ends of the earth for them. I will lose them in this life, but we will be reunited in Heaven thanks to what Jesus did for us. I do not want to preach to any of you, but my heart feels for you. PLEASE KEEP ON KEEPIN ON!!! Sincerely, Connie
connie nikel |
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| tiredmama3
Starting Member
2 Posts
Gratitude: 2
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Posted - 08/30/2007 : 17:41:59
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abelric, aren't we here to support each other? Why are you here if you think bipolar is just from bad parenting  . If that were my post and you told me that I would be in tears that you would even say that. I don't see anything in her post to suggest she's not a good parent. If she was a bad mother, she wouldn't post here, she wouldn't care. Please watch what you write on here. We are suppose to be here to support each other. |
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| angelsmom65
Starting Member
4 Posts
Gratitude: 5
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Posted - 09/03/2007 : 21:31:42
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My original post is like 2 years old, so I surpried to find others still replying to it.
To the person who is trying to say her problems are the result of bad parenting.
It's not unusal at all for the mother to get the brunt of everything. The child with bipolar often takes there frustrations and anger out on the one person they feel safe and secure with in doing so..the mother.
It's not unsual for there to be trial and errors with medications. What works with one may not work for the next. With children it is very difficult because of there growing bodies and they are always changeing. Children matabolize medications a whole lot different then adults and so that also makes it difficult in finding the right med or dosage that will work.
Am I over protective ? YES..I proably am. But you also don't see my child running the streets and getting into trouble either because of her poor impulse control and believing everyone she meets is her best friend.
I much rather be over protective then allowing my daughter to run the streets to do as she pleases with who she pleases and getting into trouble.
I think you can agree that children today are not children. They are mini adults who are being forced to grow up to fast because the parents of today don't want to be bothered.
I atleast know where my child is and what she is doing at all times and with whome. If that makes me over protective and being over protective makes me a bad parent, then so be it.
I still school her from home, this being my last year of doing so. Many may disagree with schooling from home, but it has worked for us.
To tired mama....Her reply didn't bring me to tears. It's not unusal for anyone to say something they know nothing about. They read a post and suddenly feel they are dr. phil and have all the answers, when really...they are talking out there butt..lol
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| stigmastomper (inactive)
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
24317 Posts
Gratitude: 1940
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Posted - 01/20/2008 : 06:29:05
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hi welcome to my therapy.
i have adhd ,manic deppression.
i think some good advice was given here.
try to think of disability this way.
i have adhd for several reasons,i have a head injury and epilepsy,
i have manic deppression,i have several learning disabilities and a thought disorder, the dr.said it was like schizo-affective disorder.
and i have 40%hearing in both ears.
but while some say and iam serverely disabled.
in truth i'am disabled,dis "abled" ,dis"enabled, and im differently enabled disability while real is not always in and of itself what disables, it is the failure of society or deliberate act, to see that disability is also a matter of context,contrast. if that makes any sense.
and learn about mind control on a large scale basis.
and about people legislating who can be able and who cannot.
and dont watch alot of tv because it literally can be used to induce disability . and learn about social,political,population engineering,
and the class system, churches and technology,and stigmaticization.
people abusing science and technolgy can use the electronic media and a few simple laws of physics to induce not only disability but the perception of disabilties in healthy people, enmass. and you might stop to consider that society is like a big computer game or program
a sort of psychoelectronic virues and that "normal" brains succumb to this but some people have disabilities of diferent nuerocognitive
,sensory ,biochemical abilities and for example its hard to brain wash someone whose learning disabiled or adhd because they are extra sensative to changes in structure and are very analytical. so if society is a psychoelectronic virus and or the stuff the engineers of conciousnes and conscience send through the media =programing well my disabilities are like an anti-virus and dictators have always used mind control and today that is reality.and its political so is science and medicine. buyer beware!
look over this site i found yesterday it will give you all some ideas as to what im trying to illustrate its http://www.center for cognitive liberty.org or http://www.cognitiveliberty.org.
anyway this may help you understand your child ,spouse and society better. by the way i love my risperdal but i dont trust my shirnk
because he ,his generation,his proffession,his colleges,science ,perception of science are all socially engineered to.
i dont mind being called nuts but i damn sure make 'em prove it.
ive told more than one psychiatrist that he was a brain bigot lol
and after a heated argument they usually conceed.
structure is very important and consistency, and things like putting a dimmer switch on the light over the table and dont use flouresent lights ,and reduce stimulation, and realize your child
may find it more relaxing to do several things at onece , and breaking tasks down into smaller tasks ,and giving detailed instruction written, and verbal slowly ,consicely is also a big help,
personal space is importantant. ok ive given you all enough to consider |
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| numeroDOCE
Starting Member
2 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2008 : 10:04:48
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| LASIK was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I am a mother of a 3 year old and a 1 year old and that means a lot of waking up in the middle of the night. This translated to sleeping in my contacts so that I could see what I was doing when I had to check on my kids; after 20 years, it was starting to take a toll on the health of my eyes. Dr. Wiles is so informative and has such a calm demeanor; he put me at ease even though I was nervous about the procedure. He went through all of the steps involved in the treatment so that I knew exactly what to expect. I appreciate everything he has done to make my vision what it is today. I can now see 20/20 with no help." www.my2020.com |
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| sconaway3
Starting Member
1 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2012 : 17:48:22
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Hi there I am new on here but recently read your post about your child. I am at my wits end with my son. He is 13 and he also has adhd and is bipolar. We just recently got dx with the bipolar part and have not begun any meds for it. I am so nervous about adding another med to his regimen because he already takes 2 just for the adhd.Just wondering if it does get any better because I often feel like we are fighting and screaming at each other when he gets in one his "moods". I try hard not to argue with him because his counselor says that I shouldnt, but at the same time I dont want him to be disrespectful because of him being in that "mood". I also understand that he has alot of hormones going on at the same time, so its all very hard. When he goes into an up "mood" he does nothing but aplogize and cry because he feels bad about what had happened previously. Im sorry I dont want to complain, it is nice to know that Im not the only parent in the world going through this, so thanks for any support and words of wisdom anyone can share regarding all of this.
shannon |
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| ultimatimo
Starting Member
4 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2012 : 06:40:11
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| my son is 13 and extremly depressed. |
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| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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| warblaster
Super Incredible Member (10000+ posts)
112498 Posts |
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Mother of Bipolar child
