| Author |
 Topic  |
|
sadcow50
Super Member (250+ posts)
255 Posts
Gratitude: 102
|
 Posted - 09/12/2007 : 13:29:49
|
Hi I´m confused everyone tells me I have a severe depression but I`ll disagree
I have suicidal thoughts troughout my life since my earley teens, I just lived my life did school got married a kid adivorce a relation another kid and all that time the thought off not belonging not being axepted was there during the relation I felt so tired off everything that I made the dissision when my kid is 17 I`ll end my life. The relation ended before he was 17 and then I´d met him the love off my life and every suicidal thought was gone I felt happy for the first time in my life but he left me my son reached the age off 18 when that happened so old enough to do without me and indeed the suicide urge was back that´s almost 4 years ago did several suicide attempts was hospitalized in a metal hospital 3 days and the psychiatrist over there was convinced just like me that I was not depressed but so so sad I´ve been in therapy for over3 years now take 150 mg effexor my therapist believes I´m depressed and if I change my life and let people in I will feel better I don´t want a new relation they will onley leave me again hurt me again the effexor has no effect at all I still want to die because life is hurting me to much I am terminaly sick off life is this as averybody tells me an depression or am I right can somebody actualy suffer from life in a way that they can´t go any further love sadcow  |
|
| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 822
    |
Posted - 09/14/2007 : 13:34:04
|
Hi Sadcow,
Are you feeling suicidal today? How are you feeling?
-EA
p.s. Tell Stormbreker "hi" from EA if he is still there.
unemployed
thirty-one-year-old Korean-American
married woman
diagnosed bipolar 1993
|
|
| sadcow50
Super Member (250+ posts)
255 Posts
Gratitude: 102
|
Posted - 09/16/2007 : 06:31:31
|
Hi EP I always feel suicidal today tomorrow yesterday everyday don´t know what´s keeping me from doing it it´s not my kids or some misplaced feeling of importance to anybody more a feeling like if I do it I want to do it right and in a decent way
I think I´ll see Storm Tomorrow will say hi from you lots of love sad |
|
| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 822
|
Posted - 09/18/2007 : 14:12:50
|
Hi Sadcow,
It was good to meet you in chat the other day. How are you?
-EA
unemployed
thirty-one-year-old Korean-American
married woman
diagnosed bipolar 1993
|
|
| sadcow50
Super Member (250+ posts)
255 Posts
Gratitude: 102
|
Posted - 09/20/2007 : 07:50:51
|
Hi EA took a while to reply. I feel so inmensly tired my own fault been to a concert off The Police twice helped my youngest son to move house, been working in my garden front and back I´m exhousted, and now I miss my son like crazy. keeping busy is the onley way to keep on going at the moment If Stormbreaker haddn´t forced me to commit to him I would´t be here anymore my goal was before I turn 51 that´s tommorrow so I feel not to happy today lots of love sad
|
|
| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 822
|
Posted - 09/25/2007 : 12:53:12
|
quote:
Originally posted by sadcow50
Hi EA took a while to reply. I feel so inmensly tired my own fault been to a concert off The Police twice helped my youngest son to move house, been working in my garden front and back I´m exhousted, and now I miss my son like crazy. keeping busy is the onley way to keep on going at the moment If Stormbreaker haddn´t forced me to commit to him I would´t be here anymore my goal was before I turn 51 that´s tommorrow so I feel not to happy today lots of love sad
Hi Sadcow,
How was your birthday? My birthday is coming up soon too.
-EA
unemployed
thirty-one-year-old Korean-American
married woman
diagnosed bipolar 1993
|
|
| sadcow50
Super Member (250+ posts)
255 Posts
Gratitude: 102
|
Posted - 09/26/2007 : 05:55:06
|
| hi EA my birthday was nice lots off people lots off pressents so now I´m 51 hurray not.still feel not well been shopping today with the money i´dd got for my birthday so I´ve spoilled myself rotten so why can´t I feel happy with it? so it´s your birthday soon? when? could send you a postcard but will send you a birthday wish ok. lots of love sad. |
|
| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 822
|
Posted - 09/28/2007 : 14:28:25
|
Hi Sadcow,
How's it going? I'm stressed about my birthday, but I knew that was going to happen. Are you working? I can't recall if you'd said so. I want to find a job in the arts maybe, but scared to. I've been unemployed for awhile now.
What did you get? (shopping)
-EA
unemployed
thirty-one-year-old Korean-American
married woman
diagnosed bipolar 1993
|
|
| sadcow50
Super Member (250+ posts)
255 Posts
Gratitude: 102
|
Posted - 09/29/2007 : 00:07:45
|
hi EA, why are you stressed out about your bithday? I love to celebrate them not mine such as much but from others has to do with my youth. I´n not working i´ve got CFS chronical fatigue syndrome so i´m always tired like i´de been working a whole day when I get out off bed. Can you imagine how I feel after a whole day doing my things?
I´ve spoilled myself rotten two bottles of perfume a wonderfull skirt, a paper shredder,and an expensive foundation. but as I said it did´nt make me feel happy like it used to do.did´nt feel guilty too I can feel verry guilty when I buy something for myself from my household money. I hope you can find a job in art don´t think it will be easy though weel I´m going to the post office get concert tickets lots of love sad
|
|
| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 822
|
Posted - 09/29/2007 : 06:49:23
|
| What concert are you going to see? |
|
| sadcow50
Super Member (250+ posts)
255 Posts
Gratitude: 102
|
Posted - 09/29/2007 : 08:16:06
|
ok twice a day that´s nice but there´s a big timedifference between our country´s
I´m no we´re going to KORN my two sons my daughter in law and me |
|
| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 822
|
Posted - 10/02/2007 : 13:43:06
|
Hi Sadcow,
How was the concert? I've seen Korn on tv once when they did a Reality TV show which was a contest to pick an undiscovered filmmaker to shoot their music video.
btw, I didn't know you had children. Do you see your sons often?
To answer your question of why am I stressed about my birthday--I got stressed out I don't know why. I always do on my birthday. So maybe that's why, just a habit of mine.
How are you feeling today?
-EA
unemployed
thirty-two-year-old Korean-American
married woman
diagnosed bipolar 1993
|
|
| sadcow50
Super Member (250+ posts)
255 Posts
Gratitude: 102
|
Posted - 10/03/2007 : 04:10:49
|
Hi EA, haven´t been to rhe concert yet, I´ve bought the tickets the concert is on january 29 2007 so I have to wait a while.
I do see my sons regulary my oldest is working a lot off overtime lately so I´ll see him not that often lateley
and my youngest is in a youth program since 3 weeks he has ADHD and a low IQ 67 so he has a dubble handicap now they are trying to get him so far that he can live on his own or live on his own with a little bit of help I see him every week we miss eachother kids like that are verry special to a mom.
Than I´ll take care of my grandson he´s 5 years old his mom didnt want him when she was pregnant so I´ll took him in since the minute he was born it feels like my own child.
and how do I feel? verry confused i´ve met someone not my type but verry friendley sweet and honnest but I still so in love with my ex
and seeing someone else almost make me feel guilty to my ex like I´m unfaithfull to him, and the new guy I feel like I should tell him that I´m stiil so hooked on my ex so I´m not totaly honest to him.
I just dont know on top off everything this , I could do without all that s..t . love sad |
|
| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 822
|
Posted - 10/06/2007 : 15:35:11
|
Hi Sadcow,
Unfortunately, something wouldn't let me post in Live Chat earlier today when I dropped in there. So I left without saying good-bye. Good to see you and JB for a quick moment this morning. (morning for me, night for you guys)
It's my husband's birthday this weekend. I got him a radio-control helicopter--he loves it; he turns 40-something and is like a happy-go-lucky teen right now playing with his copter.
I slept for over 3 hours this afternoon. I must have needed it. I feel much better and more alert. Still some anxiety, but better than yesterday...
How are you and your family?
-EA
unemployed
thirty-two-year-old Korean-American
married woman
diagnosed bipolar 1993
|
|
| sadcow50
Super Member (250+ posts)
255 Posts
Gratitude: 102
|
Posted - 10/09/2007 : 08:17:48
|
Hi EA I´d had troubles with posting on the chat too maybe there was a problem with the administrator or whatever they call it
I´m sick belly flu my grandson came home being sick last satturday
so now its my turn hurray
is your husband still happy with his chopper? boys will be boys.
I could sleep for houres today but unfortunatley my mom is visiting and my grandson is home from school so no sleep for Thea today I´ll bet I will sleep when one of my favorit series is on `medical investigation`that always happens to me let me know how your husbands birthday was and how your feeling today |
|
| EmergingArtist
Incredible Member (2000+ posts)
9136 Posts
Gratitude: 822
|
Posted - 10/10/2007 : 15:24:35
|
Hi Sadcow,
Are you still sick with the flu? Tonight my husband and I go to couples counseling. He wanted to cancel it, but it was too late. I want to go, he is dragging his feet.
See you in chat sometime,
-EA
unemployed
thirty-two-year-old Korean-American
married woman
diagnosed bipolar 1993
|
|
|
Topic |
|
is it a depresion or e am I trough with life?
