On Nardil for years.Partial response. History of substance probs. Multiple losses:death of first wife many years ago-a true shock which ive never been able to forget.Relive it everyday;divorce after 13 years marriage with loss of family,house,money,security;loss of job 3 times. Unable to have friends. Social phobia Major constant worry every day. Thoughts of death and what happens after death(not just fear but much reading and thinking and exploration) cant get close to people. feeling that life is something which is an ordeal and cant wait to get it over with(never suicidal however). feeling no one understands and i cant really express it well.
saw a pdoc recently who only offerred switching to lexapro,but im afraid of stopping nardil which at least helps somewhat.Afraid of the 2 week wash out period and then the waiting with lexapro with no guarantee that it will be better and perhaps worse. major procrastination hopelessness.
this is me right now. but i can function. i work,i make co0mplicated decisions i function yes but there is such pain on a psychic level rumination of thoughts and feelings.
alex3
If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.
Alex, Welcome to MT. I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad about your life and are in such pain. It sounds to me like your pdoc is not being of much help to you. Have you thought of seeking help elsewhere? I hope that you will find some support and understanding here. There are many people here who have different problems that they are dealing with so can understand what you are going through.
Niney
"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends." Churton Collins
Thanks Niney and stranger My psydoc wasnt of much help. I live in a pretty isolated place so its hard to find a good therapist or psydoc.I just see someone for refills.Maybe my standards are too high.But unless I find someone who is really caring and intelligent I dont like to go to someone.Id have to drive a very long way to do this.With my work I just cant do it. So I feel stuck All these feelings of pain are chronic,unchanging,daily. I told the psydoc that for the past year things have changed-ive lost interest in so may things.The depression is worse.Ant there were aspects he didnt even want to deal with. I thought seeing him would make a difference.I so rarely take the time to see someone. Anyway its comforting to know there are those who understand the sufferrring.
alex3
If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.
new- a reprise-
Posted - 07/19/2007 : 20:14:49
